Thu 10 Sep 2009
Out and About with Twins – When does the Carnival End?
Posted by KathrynWhiteley under Twin Life
[5] Comments
Getting out and about with twins, triplets or more is a difficult undertaking. But, when you add all the attention it generates, it can be downright draining. Many parents of young twins or higher order multiples ask,
“When does all the attention begin to slacken? When does the Carnival End?”
For most everyone, regardless of your particular multiples, the attention begins to lessen a bit somewhere around age two, and gradually fades as the kids approach school age. By that time, the attention has reduced quite a bit. This is pretty universally true whether you have identicals or fraternals, twins, triplets, or more. The degree to which it reduces is directly related to several factors:
- How alike do your multiples look? Are they identical? Are they fraternal – but look very similar?
- How close in age do they look? Some twins look like one might be older.
- Are they the same height?
- Do they dress alike?
- Are they the same gender?
- How many children do you have in your entourage?
- Are you still using a double, triple or bigger stroller?
For some, the extra attention will be a life long thing. This is true for those with higher order multiples, and for those who look very alike. But, even for those sets of multiples, the attention does slacken as they get older. Older kids just don’t have that universal appeal that babies have.
Many parents of twins struggle to get errands completed in the early years, but love that people recognize how special twins and multiples are. May D, of Lenexa, KS says, “I don’t want to make people feel like they’re irritating me because it [is] nice that people think twins are special. But, it could turn a short run to the grocery store into an hour long trip if I stopped to talk to everyone who says ‘Twins! Oh they’re so cute!‘ ”
In an informal survey conducted on twitter and twinParenthood.com, parents cited the following questions as the most commonly received:
- Are they twins?
- Are they identical?
- Do twins run in your family?
- Are they all yours?
- Who was born first?
- Were you surprised?
- How do you do it?
And the most common comments received:
- You’ve really got your hands full.
- Wow. You’re really busy!
- Twins! How cute!
Many parents are amazed at some of the questions or comments they receive. Some of the more unusual or intrusive:
- Are they natural?
- Did you have a C-section?
- Do you plan to have any more?
- Did you have your tubes tied? / Did your husband have a vasectomy?
- Glad it was you and not me!
And while nearly all parents of twins are occasionally taken aback by the intrusive questions of strangers, most feel that the majority of people are friendly and just curious about multiples. To keep things light and on a positive note, the majority of parents like to respond with funny one-liners delivered in a friendly tone.
- Q: Do twins run in your family?
- A: They do now!
- Q: Are they twins?
- A: Yep. Buy One, Get One Free!
- Q: Really? Twins? But they look so different!
- A: Yes! Almost like they’re two different people!
- Q: Are they natural?
- A: As opposed to…? or
- A: 100%! or
- A: Nope! They’re plastic, pretty realistic, huh?
- Q: Which was born first?
- A: They’re Twins! or
- A: We’re not sure, we think they were switched at birth!
- Q: How far apart are they?
- A: About six inches
- Q: Were you surprised?
- A: No, we put in an order for twins!
- Q: Did you use I.V.F.?
- A: No, we had S.E.X.
Two years goes by so quickly, and soon you will be missing the attention your crew drew when you were out and about. No, really… it’ll happen. So, try to enjoy it and keep the attitude that those with singletons or none at all are just a little jealous of that specialness of multiples.
What about you? What are some of the funny questions, comments, or answers you’ve experienced? Leave us a comment to share your funniest (or most painful).
Copyright 2009 Kathryn Whiteley – http://twinParenthood.com
5 Responses to “ Out and About with Twins – When does the Carnival End? ”
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Yes, I’ve heard all of those comments too. I have two “Pairs” of twins, so I’ve heard them all. The funniest experience was when I was shopping at Costco & an elderly gentleman asked first: “are they both yours?” and then after the affirmative: “how far apart are they?” (note, my son is taller when sitting than his sister) – to which I stated “two minutes!” you should have seen the shocked look on his face! Totally made my day.
As to personal experiences, my twins are 4 years apart & I love Costco because of the two seats in the grocery carts. When the 2nd set of twins were tiny I would wear the little ones & put the big ones in the cart – later I found the easiest way to shop was to put two in the dbl jogger stroller & the other two in the grocery cart then pull one & push the other – boy did I get a lot of attention . . . but it made my life much easier.
Thanks Kat, I love your blog!
What a great blog! I found you through another twin mommy. I have 17 month b/g twins and just found out I’m pregnant too. My husband is anxious for our ultrasound – ha ha. He says he’s worried their quads!
Thanks for the fun read.
It’s so funny to hear you say that you love that Costco has double carts…I just told my husband the other day I was going to drag one over to my supermarket!! lol We MOMs think alike!
Its nice to know it happens to all of us. Maybe, like a right of passage. My mom is a twin and had twins, so she was used to all the silly questions, but her favorite (directed at her and her twin) was “Are you sure you’re twins? You look nothing alike” I don’t mind people asking if twins run in my family because they really do! 3 generations in a row. Its actually something I like to share because I feel like me and my mom and grandma have a special bond
All the other questions, I could pass on, though.