Sat 19 Sep 2009
How "The Twin Bond" shows up when twins are apart
Posted by KathrynWhiteley under Twin Life
[5] Comments
Nearly everyone has heard of “The Twin Bond”
I find the concept of the twin bond very interesting, and we see it from a unique perspective in our household. Since we have two sets of twins, we often feel that we have our own little science experiment going on in our house. Here are some of the interesting aspects about our laboratory:
| Twin Set 1 | Twin Set 2 |
|
|
The twin bond is an amazing thing. I can say from our own experience that it will vary from one set of twins (triplets, or higher order multiples) to another. And in our family, of course, each individual child has a relationship with each individual. But, we also have the added factor of the bond between the sets of twins. It’s wonderful to see.
Our boys are bonded, but not nearly so much as our girls. Is that because they are fraternal? Yes, I think partly so. Is it because they are boys? Yes, I think partly so. They tend to be more competitive than our girls (with each other, with family, with friends, etc.). They get into tussles every day. They’re starting to be aware that boys don’t show affection to other boys in our society.
But, there are also events in their lives that put their bond on display for all to see. For example, at school last year they took a field trip to the beach. The boys were assigned into two separate groups as they explored, looking for sea creatures. Trevin discovered a geoduck (“gooey-duck”). He was so excited that he immediately started calling for his brother — who was nearly a mile down the beach.
Our girls are tightly bonded. I grew up in a family with two older brothers. I admit that I never even thought about, or missed, having a sister — until now. I see the beautiful relationship that my girls have and realize that I would have liked having that. They play together all day and rarely fight.
Last week, Jessica was home from school with the flu. She had been throwing up and I was sitting with her, comforting her. She looked at me, tears welled up into her eyes, and she exclaimed, “I want Sammie!” Later, at the dinner table that night, we asked Samantha how it went at school without her sister. Sammie’s chin started to quiver, then big tears rolled down her face. “I missed Jessica!” she exclaimed.
We are truly blessed in our family. Our God is a generous and amazing God.
How about you? Are your twins tightly bonded? or less so? How do they show it?
Copyright 2009 – twinParenthood.com / Kathryn Whiteley
I just love this blog and 2 sets of twins to boot! I am a mother of multiples and Kat had been a great resource for knowledge. Maiya Alward
We have b/g twins who are 6 and in first grade. They are in the same class at school and sleep in the same room. I think their bond is most telling when they wake up in the middle of the night and in addition to wanting my husband or me, they want the other twin near them.
Of course, they fight just as much as all siblings do but they love each and have a unique bond.
Jenny –
Isn’t that sweet? Mine never want to sleep in their bedroom alone, either.
Recently when one daughter was sick – she slept in the living room with me so I could attend to her. The other slept on the floor in her brothers room because she didn’t want to be alone in her room.
Thanks for visiting!
Kat
I am a twin myself. Fraternal. My twin is a boy. Although you say your boys aren’t close because they are fratnernal doesn’t mean they won’t become closer with age. Although my twin and I are still in our teens we have this undescribable bond. We’re so close, we understand each other perfectly. In many ways he’s my soul mate. (if i can say it that way.) I don’t have any idea what I would do without him. I admit, he gets on my nerves all the time, but because i’m a girl and because I love him so much I can’t help but easily forgive – he’s sometimes the same way. We’re so different – He’s outgoing and athletic. I’m introverted and artistic. Your twins will grow to be very different (I guarentee it) but in so many ways, they will be the same.
I am a 24 year old mother of Identical twin boys. My oldest Benjamin by 8 minutes and Jonmichael. I also have two more boys ages 4 and 5. When I was waiting on the twins to finish “baking in the oven” I found out only a month and a half before they were born that they were in fact TWO boys and NOT the ONE GIRL i was told. It was not only a shock but, the most amazing 9 years of my life so far. The younger Jon is good at everything but, is upset because he is younger.( 8 minutes) The older one, Ben is upset because his younger brother is really good at well everything he trys. Jon helped Ben learn how to go potty, helped him read, and beat up the kid that picked on him in school. That was a bond that I couldn’t understand. But, it is hard to see with two younger brothers that want you to help with this and take up alot of my time. Does any one have any advice about how to help the twins and myself with not making them feel left out, or like all they have is eachother all the time. Bchapman187@yahoo.com Thank you for any advice.