If there is one major thing lacking in families with twins, triplets, or more, it is time.

I often wish I had more time to give to my kids. And of course, with twins, there is the added need for individual time.  One-on-one time is what twins crave.

So how do you do it? How do you make sure each twin or higher order multiple is getting their share of one-on-one time?

You must be deliberate about it. You have to plan for it.

If you “just”  have twins, the old “divide and conquer” method is fabulous. Dad takes one twin, Mom takes the other, and off you go to run your errands. Each child is getting one-on-one time with a parent, and your errands are getting done twice as fast than if you go do them as a family.

One-on-One Time with Parent

Some will argue this is not “quality” time, and that is true. But it is still time spent where the child is ”just” a child for a little while — and not a twin. There is a big benefit for the child in doing every day activities where they are without their twin for a bit.

But what if you have more than “just” twins? It starts to get complicated quickly and keeping track to make sure everyone is getting their share is painful.

In our house, we established a chart for each parent.  Down the side we placed each child’s name, a repeating pattern down the page.  We added columns for “Date of Trip” and “Where They Went”.  A simple chart.  Each time a child goes somewhere alone with mom or dad, we jot a quick note on the chart. 

This chart has eliminated so many arguments! The kids no longer bicker over who gets to go with Mom or Dad — they just run over to the chart to see “who’s up”.

Over time, you can review the chart to see how often you are actually making time for individual trips with each kid. Sometimes it is shocking to see how long it has been since we went somewhere alone with any of ours. Having it in black and white, we are confronted with the fact that we are not doing well, and then we can again be deliberate about making it happen.

Of course, we also make sure each kid is getting their share of quality outings alone with Mom or Dad. But we save those for extra special rewards. Most of our quality outings are family outings – and that’s what we prefer — a strong family.

Copyright 2009 – twinParenthood.com / Kathryn Whiteley

How about you? What do you do to make sure each twin is getting alone, one-on-one time with Mom & Dad?