One fun aspect of parenting twins is choosing twin baby names. Some parents agonize over the decision — while some have no trouble at all. There are several philosophies to choosing twin baby names (or, as we we like to call them “twinfants” names). But, you need not worry, no matter your philosophy, you’ll eventually settle on something that will be perfect for your little sweethearts.

How to Choose Baby Names for Twins

1. Family Names.  Some parents of multiples will use the opportunity to honor those special to the family (family members, ancestors, friends).  This is a great chance to do that as there are multiple children, and thus multiple names  – so that you do not have to choose which family member to honor first. 
2. Same Initials.  Another option is to name the babies so that all the names in the twins, triplets, or higher order multiples ”set” begin with the same letter.  Some examples:  Aiden & Addison, Brandon & Bryon, and Jacob & Joshua.  Thinking ahead, one pitfall to naming a set of multiples with the same initials is for labeling possessions such as clothing, sippy cups, etc. If they all have the same initials — you’ll have to do a bit more writing.  But, this is a minor inconvenience and may not deter you if you like the idea or the sound of the names together.
3. Birth Order.  Typically hospitals will assign a letter to your babies as they are born (A, B, C, etc.).  Multiples parents have been known to stick with the letter assigned to each.  Examples: A-Abigail, B-Brenden, C-Caleb, etc.
4. Sound Alike or Rhyming.  Many sets of twins are named based on similar sounding names.  Some popular examples: Jayden & Jordan, Ethan & Evan, and Taylor & Tyler, or rhyming names Zoe & Chloe.   Parents need to be aware, though, of a danger with rhyming names. Outside of the immediate family, it can already be difficult to distinguish between identical twins. Having rhyming names can add to the difficulty and be frustrating to teachers and other significant players in your twins lives.
5. Meaningful Names.  Twins are often named to reflect family values or are symbolic in some way to the family.  Examples: Faith & Hope, Jacob & Joseph, Austin & Denver.  Or, maybe you’ll want to choose names that have a similar or complimentary meaning in another ancient language.  Examples: Duke & Dean (which both mean “leader” in French).
6. Complimentary or Harmonious.  Sometimes we just like the way the names sound together. It is appealing the way the twins’ names roll off your tongue. For instance: Madison & Morgan, Olivia & Sophia, Ava & Emma.
7. Same Complexity.  Twin names often sound better together when they have the same number of syllables.  For example, Jessica & Samantha, and Tom & Jo.
8. Stand Alone. Probably the easiest method of all is to simply choose names that you like, and don’t worry about how they sound together. Some would even argue that this is the “best” way to do it because it promotes individuality.

Many resources can help with choosing names for your twins. Tons of books of baby names have been written over the years, and many baby related website have lists and pages of baby names.  One such resource that I think is especially helpful is the Social Security Administration’s list of Popular Baby Names and Popular Names of Twins.  These lists are updated annually, showing the most popular names for the prior year.

Try on names for a while. Write them out. Then, ask friends and family what they think.  But, if you’re like me, maybe you want to keep the names a secret among your friends and family.  If so, another great option is to ask for advice from online twins communities and/or twins support groups. Many great communities exist and typically, your friends and family are not members.

Finally, it is important to keep in mind that no matter what names you choose for your twins, triplets, or higher order multiples, there will always be those that think you should have chosen something else. Most people will be supportive, but there will be those that will be insistent in presenting their “perfect” names for your little ones.  Take it all in, mull it over, and above all, just have fun finding your perfect names.

Copyright 2010 Kathryn Whiteley — TwinParenthood.com

Strollers are so critical to life with twins. There is such a variety of types, features, and cost. Parents want the facts to ensure they make the “right” decision.

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I was sitting around with a couple of twin friends the other day, when we began talking about what we had in our diaper bags. We had a good laugh when we thought about what our old work friends would think about our highly stimulating conversation. But, none-the-less, we continued our discussion and uncovered some really helpful “must have” items.

These friends had a couple of suggestions that had not occurred to me.  So, I posed the question online to my friends in Eastside Mothers of Multiples (my local twins club) and received even more helpful tips.  These are tips from twins parents that have “been there — done that”.

Many of the parents use the “plastic bag system”.  Some diaper bags are fantastic, with all sorts of special pockets — but even in those, it is helpful to further organize the contents of your diaper bag.  Clear plastic zipper bags (aka “Ziploc Bags”) of different sizes make it easy to find things and to keep up your inventory.

Diaper Bag Basics

Of course, every diaper bag needs to have a good selection of the basics. This is not intended to be an “end-all, beat-all” list of the basic stuff. I’ll list it here for the brand newbies out there. But, it doesn’t take even sleep deprived new parents of twins, triplets, or higher order multiples long to figure out this basic item list. If I’ve missed something obvious, please feel free to leave me a comment and point it out.

Outside the Diaper Bag

1. Plastic Bags in dispenser.  This is a neat trick — buy one of those plastic bag dispensers that attach to a dog leash.  Attach them to the outside of your diaper back, and you are set for disposing of diapers or wrapping up soiled clothing.
2. Hand Sanitizer.  Some of the travel sized hand sanitizer products come in a little neoprene case with a clip.  Attach to the outside of the diaper bag for convenience — you’ll use this a lot!
3. Luggage Tag.  A handy luggage tag with your cell phone number — in case you lose the diaper bag.

Inside the Diaper Bag

1. Diapering Bag.   This gallon sized plastic zipper bag has all the essentials for a diaper change.
   • diapers
   • travel pack of wipes
   • diaper creme
   • hand sanitizer – travel size (yes, one outside the main diaper bag AND one inside in the diapering ziploc.)
   • changing pad
2. Clothing Bag.  This gallon sized plastic zipper bag contains 2 changes of clothes
3. Pacifier Bag.  For those that use these, this small plastic zipper bag contains 2 extra pacifiers.
4. Burp Cloth/Extra Blanket.
5. Feeding Supplies.
   • Bottles
   • Packets of formula (premeasure your own to save money over pre-packaged serving sizes)
   • Bottled water
   • Bibs (disposable is handy)
6. First Aid / Medical.
   • Mini First Aid Kit (with band aids, anti-bacterial ointment or spray, gauze, cleanser wipes, etc.)
   • Medications.  Ask your pharmacy for an extra label and small bottle for your child’s medications. Even if you normally administer medications at home, having a back up supply is so  helpful “just in case”.

Beyond the Diaper Bag Basics

1. Leashes. I’ve gotta confess, I Love Leashes! We used the lightweight harness type with dog leashes that extend/retract. These were small enough to be able to keep in our diaper bag so we had them when we needed them. Keeping kids safe should always be a priority.
2. Entertainment.  One or more gallon sized zipper plastic bags filled with distraction.
   • books
   • crayons or markers / paper tablet / stickers
   • duplos / legos
   • electronics (music, video, etc.)
   • small car
   • bubbles
3. Snacks.  One or more small hard plastic containers (Tupperware) with quick snacks.
   • crackers
   • cereal or cereal bars
   • cookies
   • mini fruit cups
4. Adult Needs.  One zipper bag with adult essentials.
   • spare keys
   • tissues
   • extra cash

Now, it’s been a while since I hauled around a twin diaper bag, but I do still often bring a backpack crammed full of some of these same items. You never know when you’ll have an unexpected need when you’re out and about.   I know there are many more fantastic tricks “out there” — because there are so many creative parents “out there”.  Please leave a comment and share your special tip or trick.

Copyright 2010 Kathryn Whiteley — TwinParenthood.com

Bedtime challenges exist for many families, but when you add twins, triplets, or more into the equation, things can get out of hand rather quickly. Many children begin to resist bedtime as they move into the toddler years. With twins sharing a bedroom, Twin Escalation Syndrome (TES) begins to play a role. Twin Escalation Syndrome is the tendency for twins to feed upon each other’s behaviors, and to escalate the behaviors in reaction to each other. At bedtime, this often results in extended talking, or turns “bedtime” into “playtime”.

The Wake Up Light System solves sleep problems

The “Wake Up Light” (or “Morning Light”) is a light that comes on when it is time to get up in the morning. You hook up a night-light on a timer. When it is sleep time, the light is OFF… when it is okay to get up, the light comes on. Please read TwinParenthood.com’s article on the basics of the Wake Up Light System to get an understanding of this useful sleep tool and how to use Sleep Rules with the light and timer.  In this article, Part 2 of our series on the “Wake Up Light System, we’ll discuss how to use the light and timer to promote good sleep behaviors at bedtime.

Dealing with Playtime at Bedtime

Set the timer so that the light is on for 5-10 minutes at bedtime after you leave the room.  Tell your twins they can talk/sing/read/use the bathroom during that time, but when the light goes out… they must lay down, close their eyes, be still and be quiet.  As noted in part one of our Wake Up System articles, it is important to review these Sleep Rules every night at bedtime.

If they violate the sleep rules, don’t get angry. Just calmly say “It’s sleep time.” and take them back to their bed and lay them down. If you need to, you can repeat the sleep rules in a monotone whisper: “the light is off: lay down, close eyes, be still, be quiet”. Do not linger, do not give kisses, etc. just lay them in bed then leave the room. Do this as many times as you need to do it — do not waver, do not get angry… just matter of fact and boring.

If you have some bad habits to break, it might take 3-4 days of this “matter of fact” putting them back in bed and repeating the sleep rules. After a few days they will get bored, but you might have to repeat this action many, many times during the training period. Don’t get discouraged. If you are consistent and really don’t give them any power by responding in a different way, talking with them, pleading with them, or scolding them, they will get bored and will stop violating the sleep rules.

The Wake Up Light System has been a blessing in our household, and as I’ve shared the system with other families of multiples, I’ve heard nothing but positive feedback.  Give the system a try and see how it works in your house!

Copyright 2010 Kathryn Whiteley — TwinParenthood.com

Related Articles:

• More than Double Trouble: Twin Escalation Syndrom and Twin Behavior
• The “Wake Up Light System” helps to solve many sleep issues
• How to prevent twins from calling you in the night

It seems that sleep issues plague all parents at some time or another.

But for parents of twins, triplets, or higher order multiples, it seems like issues with sleep are magnified because every sleeping moment is so precious.  While there is no “magic bullet” to solve all sleep problems, the wake up light system (or “morning light” system) comes pretty darn close to it.

The wake up light is simply a light plugged into a timer. Place the wake up light where your twins can see it from their cribs or beds.

Crucial to the success of the wake up light system, is the consistent application and enforcement of the sleep rules. Make a poster with your sleep rules and place it on the wall near the wake up light. You can include a simple drawing of a child in bed with their eyes closed.

When you first introduce the light and the sleep rules, do it at a time OTHER than bed time or nap time. You can read and point to each word, you can point to the drawing of the sleeping child, or you can pantomime the actions as well as acting out the opposite of each. This is the one and only time you would ever act out the opposite of the desired actions.  This is done just so they understand, and you don’t want them to make a game of doing the opposite of the sleep rules. Talk about the wake up light and point to it.  Turn the light on to show what it looks like and explain, “when it comes on, you can get up!”.  Then, turn the light off and review the sleep rules again.

Review the sleep rules every night at bed time.

If they violate the sleep rules, don’t get angry. Just calmly say “It’s sleep time.” and take them back to their bed and lay them down. If you need to, you can repeat the sleep rules in a monotone whisper: “the light is off: lay down, close eyes, be still, be quiet”. Do not linger, do not give kisses, etc. just lay them in bed then leave the room. Do this as many times as you need to do it — do not waver, do not get angry… just matter of fact and boring.

If there are some bad habits to be broken, it might take 3-4 days of this “matter of fact” putting them back in bed and repeating the sleep rules. After a few days they will get bored, but you might have to be prepared to repeat this action many, many times over in a night/morning during the training period. Don’t get discouraged. If you are consistent and really don’t give them any power by responding in a different way, talking with them, pleading with them, scolding them, they will get bored and will stop violating the sleep rules.

To help your twins feel successful in the beginning, you can set the light to come on earlier than your ultimate desired wake up time — early enough that you KNOW they will still be asleep. That way, when they wake up, the light will be on and they can start their day right away. The first few days you can plan to get up early and be ready to greet them with “The light is on, Hooray! Good job!”. You can then move the wake up time gradually back to the actual time you want them to wake up. Depending how far you need to move their wake up time, you’ll want to go in 5-15 minute increments and leave it at each setting for 2-3 days.

Be very animated about all successes (especially in the first several months). Anytime they get up after the wake up light has come on, make a big deal out of it.  “Good Job! Look! The Light is on!  Time to get up! Good Morning!”.  Anytime they get up when the light is not on, be very monotone and boring, “Look. The light is not on. Sleep Time.” 

What age is appropriate to start using the wake-up light?

Babies as young as 7 – 8 months can use a wake up light. The nice thing about starting at a very young age is that the wake up light quickly becomes a natural part of their life — almost like the sun rising.  A young baby can sometimes take longer to get the hang of the light — but when you are consistent and continue to direct their attention to the light, they will eventually get it.

Of course, it is always important to assess the reason for any violations of the sleep rules. If there is a need that must be taken care of, do so as quickly and quietly as possible. Do not talk unless critically needed.  As the adult, it is up to you to judge if a violation of the rules is reasonable under the circumstances.  If it is not reasonable, do not argue, discuss, or explain — just revert back to the monotone,  “The light is not on. Sleep Time.”   If they are old enough for discussion, there will be time during daylight hours to discuss why the violation was not okay.

Toddlers do very well with a wake up light system, but older children can still benefit from it as well.  Sometimes, especially in the winter, it is hard to tell if it is time to get up in the morning because it might still be dark at the “normal” wake up time for your child.  The wake up light can help a child who wakes in the night wondering if it is time to get up.  If the light is off, it is still sleep time.

Hopefully this introduction to the wake up light system has given you a good overview. The wake up light system solves many different kinds of sleep and bedtime issues, and we’ll get into specific scenarios in future articles.  In the next article in this series, we’ll talk about how the wake up light can help with children that think that bedtime means playtime.

Read More on sleep and TwinParenthood’s Wake Up Light System:

• When bedtime means playtime – The Wake Up Light System to the Rescue!
• How to prevent twins from calling for you in the night
• When did your twins sleep through the night?
• How to survive daylight savings time changes with twins

Copyright 2010 Kathryn Whiteley — TwinParenthood.com

Expecting Twins?

Learning that you are expecting twins is both exciting, and a little frightening. Most parents expecting twins really have no idea what to expect. From the pregnancy onward, you’re in for some big changes.

So, here is the “critical, need-to-know information” about your twin pregnancy:

FACT 1:

Because twin pregnancies are classified as “high risk”, you will receive more ultrasounds and tests than an average singleton pregnancy to ensure the babies (and mom) are staying healthy.

• higher rate of miscarriage
• higher rate of maternal anemia
• higher rate of postpartum hemorrhage (bleeding) after delivery
• higher risk of developing gestational diabetes
• higher risk of preeclampsia (high blood pressure, protein in the urine, and sometimes swelling in feet, legs, and hands)
• higher risk of preterm labor and delivery

Advice:

1. Seek out an Obstetrician that specializes in high risk pregnancies, or see a perinatologist.
2. Visit your Obstetrician early in your pregnancy, be diligent about keeping all dr visits.

FACT 2:

Your twin pregnancy may leave you with more of the discomforts associated with pregnancy.

• – morning sickness may be stronger in the 1st trimester
• – back aches, heartburn, and sleepless nights might be worse and begin earlier than in singleton pregnancies
• – more spotting can occur
• – Moms pregnant with twins should expect to gain between 35 – 50 pounds

Advice:

1. Get regular exercise, but don’t overdo it — especially later in the pregnancy.
2. Do not underestimate the need for extra rest and sleep.
3. Get a body pillow to use between your knees for more support.
4. Be sure to eat enough to nourish the babies — there will be time to take off the weight later.
5. A small amount of spotting early in the pregnancy without cramping can be normal, but you should still inform your doctor. If spotting with cramping or heavier bleeding or clots happens — seek immediate medical advice.

FACT 3:

Your pregnancy will require “more” of your body’s resources.

• And, you’ll need to eat more, too. You’ll need to eat an additional 500 – 1000 calories per day.  And protein is critical, you’ll need an additional 35-50 grams beginning around week 20. In total, you’ll need about 150 – 170 grams.
• You definitely will need a good prenatal vitamin with iron. Some vitamins/minerals/supplements will require a higher dosage — including folic acid. Talk to your doctor about the proper vitamins and dosage for you.
• The babies will draw calcium out of your bones & teeth if you are not taking enough in to support the twin pregnancy.

Advice:

1. Be sure to ask your doctor about the need for vitamins and supplements.
2. Make a note on your daily calendar when you have taken your vitamins, so that you will not forget.
3. Drink more milk, and eat yogurt, peanut butter, and fish. These provide more protein, and the milk & yogurt add much needed calcium.  Do be careful, though, about the types of seafood you eat, as you’ll want to avoid those species that have been found to be high in mercury. Learn more about the FDA and EPA’s recommendations for pregnant women: http://www.epa.gov/fishadvisories/advice/
4. Eat small meals, but much more often. You might find that you are not hungry — either due to morning sickness, heartburn, or just feeling full because of the babies pressing on your stomach. But, getting enough calories to support the babies is crucial. Eating protein rich foods is helpful.

FACT 4:

Chances are greater than not that you will be put on bed rest at some time during your pregnancy. And, labor/delivery are more likely to come early.

• Most moms of twins go into labor at 36 to 37 weeks (40 is the norm for singletons).
• Bed rest comes in various degrees. It can range from a modified bed rest (where the doctor simply instructs you to get off your feet whenever possible), to strict at home bed rest where you can only get up to use the toilet, to hospital bed rest.

Advice:

1. Have all your baby preparations completed no later than the 30th week of pregnancy (nursery set up, etc.). Even if you are not placed on bed rest, you will likely be too tired to complete preparations much later than 30 weeks.
2. Discuss with your doctor his/her thoughts about working during your pregnancy and if or when you should stop.
3. Drink a lot of water. Then drink some more.  More water is needed to support the increase in volume of blood. Dehydration is one cause of preterm labor.
4. For tips on how to survive bed rest, read TwinParenthood.com’s article, “Surviving Bed Rest in your Twin Pregnancy.”

FACT 5:

You are more likely to have a C-section.

• There is a higher rate of babies in the breech position.
• There is more incidence of “failure to progress” during labor, as the uterus muscles are often too stretched out to muster a coordinated effort.

Advice:

Think about your wishes for your birth plan before you are admitted to the hospital, but plan to be flexible. Don’t go into it saying, “I’ll be so upset if I have to have a C-section.”

FACT 6:

People (even strangers) are more likely to ask you personal, probing questions about your pregnancy. People are just very interested in multiples.

Advice:

Join a Twins or Multiples Support Group or “Club”. No one can relate to a mom pregnant with twins better than a mom who has “been there, done that”.   Also, you’ll be needing to get a lot of “stuff”, but most of it doesn’t need to be new. These groups often have huge sales where you can stock up.  Still unsure? Check out TwinParenthood.com’s article, “Top Ten Reasons to Join a Twins / Multiples Support Group or Club

Try to keep in mind that people are just interested in multiples, decide how much you want to reveal, and always answer with a smile. To see the humorous side of this, read our article, “Out and About with Twins — when does the carnival end?“.

A twins or higher order multiples pregnancy can be a challenge.  But, by seeking advice early, and following the doctor’s instructions, you can ensure the healthiest outcome possible. There is much you can do to prepare for the coming changes in your life. Research at TwinParenthood.com is a great start.

Copyright 2010 Kathryn Whiteley — TwinParenthood.com

What have I missed? I’d love to hear more facts and advice about twin pregnancies from all you twin moms & dads. Please leave a comment.