Most twin parents want names that will sound good together. Whether you choose names to honor family members, because they rhyme, or because they don’t — choosing names for twins can be tricky.  If you’re like me, you probably checked out (or are in the process of checking out) all sorts of resources before deciding on names for your twins.  To make is easy for you, we’ve compiled our own list of techniques: How to choose your twin baby names, gives you all the inside scoop for selecting twin baby names.

Plus, every year, the US Social Security Administration publishes lists of popular names, and fortunately for us, they also publish a list of most popular twins names.  The formatting is not fancy, but hey — I’m a working girl and it’s the quick and dirty version.  So, without further ado, here is their list of most popular twin names for 2010.

Girl Twins Names

1 Ella, Emma
2 Olivia, Sophia
3 Gabriella, Isabella
4 Faith, Hope
5 Ava, Emma
6 Isabella, Sophia
7 Madison, Morgan
8 Ava, Ella
9 Ava, Olivia
10 Mackenzie, Madison
11 Abigail, Isabella
12 Abigail, Emma
13 Hailey, Hannah
14 Makayla, Makenzie
15 Addison, Avery
16 Elizabeth, Emily
17 Ava, Mia
18 Heaven, Nevaeh
19 Abigail, Emily
20 Emma, Olivia
21 London, Paris
22 Chloe, Claire
23 Mia, Mya
24 Anna, Emma
25 Arianna, Brianna
26 Isabella, Olivia
27 Abigail, Lillian
28 Addison, Ava
29 Emma, Isabella
30 Samantha, Sophia
31 Ella, Olivia
32 Emma, Hannah
33 Emma, Mia
34 Faith, Grace
35 Madison, Makenzie
36 Madison, Olivia
37 Abigail, Olivia
38 Anabella, Isabella
39 Chloe, Zoe
40 Elizabeth, Isabella
41 Elizabeth, Victoria
42 Jada, Jade
43 Julia, Sophia
44 Kayla, Kylie
45 Madison, Megan
46 Mia, Sophia
47 Natalie, Olivia
48 Paige, Payton
49 Serenity, Trinity
50 Valentina, Valeria

Girl/Boy Twins Names

1 Madison, Mason
2 Emma, Ethan
3 Taylor, Tyler
4 Madison, Michael
5 Jayda, Jayden
6 Madison, Matthew
7 Samuel, Sophia
8 Addison, Aiden
9 Olivia, Owen
10 Zachary, Zoe
11 Addison, Jackson
12 Aiden, Ava
13 Emily, Ethan
14 Emma, Ryan
15 Isaac, Isabella
16 Natalie, Nathan
17 Abigail, Benjamin
18 Andrew, Emma
19 Isabella, Isaiah
20 Jada, Jaden
21 Brian, Brianna
22 Emma, Jack
23 Aiden, Emma
24 Eli, Ella
25 Jacob, Olivia
26 Lily, Logan
27 Michael, Michelle
28 Naomi, Noah
29 Abigail, Alexander
30 Abigail, Andrew
31 Brandon, Brianna
32 Chloe, Christian
33 Elizabeth, William
34 Emily, Matthew
35 Emma, Jacob
36 Emma, William
37 Jacob, Sarah
38 Lilly, Logan
39 Nicholas, Sophia
40 Noah, Sophia
41 Oliver, Olivia
42 Sophia, William
43 Abigail, Jacob
44 Addison, Austin
45 Alexander, Sophia
46 Ella, Jackson
47 Emma, Evan
48 Emma, James
49 Jayla, Jaylen
50 Zachary, Zoey

Boy Twins Names

1 Jacob, Joshua
2 Ethan, Evan
3 Jayden, Jordan
4 Daniel, David
5 Matthew, Michael
6 Landon, Logan
7 Elijah, Isaiah
8 Jacob, Joseph
9 Jayden, Jaylen
10 Isaac, Isaiah
11 Caleb, Joshua
12 Andrew, Matthew
13 James, John
14 Alexander, Nicholas
15 Jeremiah, Josiah
16 Joseph, Joshua
17 Nathan, Nicholas
18 Jonathan, Joshua
19 Logan, Lucas
20 Ethan, Nathan
21 Aiden, Ethan
22 Jeremiah, Joshua
23 Alexander, Andrew
24 Alexander, Benjamin
25 Logan, Luke
26 Jacob, Lucas
27 Jonathan, Joseph
28 Nathan, Noah
29 Andrew, Anthony
30 Brandon, Bryan
31 Daniel, Michael
32 Daniel, Samuel
33 Isaiah, Jeremiah
34 Jaden, Jordan
35 Jayden, Kayden
36 John, Joseph
37 Matthew, Ryan
38 Aiden, Austin
39 Benjamin, Samuel
40 Christopher, Nicholas
41 Taylor, Tyler
42 Benjamin, William
43 Hayden, Hunter
44 Santiago, Sebastian
45 Alexander, Anthony
46 Alexander, William
47 Brandon, Brian
48 Carter, Cooper
49 Evan, Owen
50 Evan, Ryan

TwinParenthood is pleased to turn over this space today to guest contributor Cori (of Cori’s Big Mouth) to bring us a nanny’s guide to finding the perfect twins (or more) nanny. Cori is currently a nanny to triplets, and a previous nanny to many sets of multiples including quadruplets & quintuplets.  We hope you will enjoy this valuable insight into finding the right twins nanny, from a great multiples nanny, Cori.

Picking the Right Twins Nanny for Your Family

One of the first things, that expectant parents think of – well after  that initial shock of finding out you’re expecting multiples has worn off – is how are we going to do this? 

Is mom going to work?  Stay home?  Can we do this alone?  Daycare?  Nanny?  There are so many options to pick from, but what’s right for your family?

Hi!  My name is Cori and I am a nanny who has personally known Kathryn for many years through her local twins group.  I was excited and honored when Kat asked me to write a guest-post for TwinParenthood on my experience as a nanny.  I have spent the last 11 years as a babysitter and/or nanny for many families of multiples, including quadruplets & quintuplets.  I’ve  spent the last 3.5 years with a family who has BBG triplets. 

What Type of Nanny is Right for You?

That’s the first thing you need to ask yourself.  Are you looking for a post-partum nanny to help when you bring home new babies?  Or are you planning on going back to work and will need full-time long term childcare for your children?  Or, maybe you just want help a few hours a day to get things done or take a nap?  Well, you’re in luck; you can find help for any of those types of childcare needs.

Mothers Helper: A mother’s helper is a great option if you just need a few hours a day a couple times a week.  If you want to just to get stuff done around the house or nap, a 12-year-old girl is the perfect person.  They really want to babysit but aren’t quite old enough to be left alone, plus they’re cheaper.  If you want to be able to leave the house then I recommend finding a high school student to come over a couple afternoons a week.

Post-Partum Nanny: Is hired to help you the first few weeks to months after your babies come home.  They support you in caring for your babies, give you tips, and of course give you rest.  They aren’t long term, though. They last a short time, and then move on to another family.

Nanny: Is a person who comes to your home and cares for your children.  They will follow your instructions, ways of doing things, etc.  Your children get to stay in their own environment.  Nannies tend to work on a 1-year contract, with a hope that she’ll be a great fit and will stay for many years.

When to find a Nanny?

Early In Your Twin Pregnancy

If you know early on in your pregnancy that you are going to need a nanny, I highly suggest you start researching and finding someone while you still have the time and energy.  If you find a nanny you love, it’s nice for them to get to be a part of the remainder of your pregnancy.  They get to know you, your spouse, other kids, etc.  Plus, they can help you prepare for the pending arrival of your little ones.  If your babies are born premature, they will probably spend time in the NICU – your nanny can also spend time with your babies in the NICU, getting to know them and their schedules, working with the nurses to learn to care for preemies along with you.  Makes a much smoother transition when the babies come home and you go back to work.

I had this wonderful opportunity in this job I’m in now.  I was hired when the mom was about 20 weeks along.  I helped them get things ready for the triplets, gave tips and advice, and was right there with her, holding our breath that she would make it to the high risk pregnancy milestones.  I then got to spend a lot of time with the babies while they were in the NICU, which was a really special experience.

After Delivery of your Twins

If you’ve already had your babies, or are going back to work when your kids are older, don’t panic there’s still hope for you.  By now, you have an idea of what type of care your kids need and are in search to find the right person to fit the mold.

Where to Find Your Multiples Nanny?

Anybody (and I mean anybody) can be a nanny.  Don’t get me wrong, there are great nannies out there, but keep in mind, it takes a special (and possibly crazy) nanny to take on a family with multiples.  As you know multiples take a lot of work and a lot of multitasking.  Many nannies aren’t comfortable and/or capable of handling the stress and extra work that comes with more than one baby.  That’s fine, it doesn’t mean they’re not good nannies, they just aren’t the right nanny for you.

The best way to find a great nanny is through your local twins group, friends and family.  Talk to other parents, get names and information.  Once a great nanny is found, she is likely to be known by many families and passed from family to family.  Word of mouth is the best way to find the right nanny for you.

How Do You Know this Nanny is Right?

Before Delivery

If you haven’t had your babies yet, and think you’ve found the right nanny get to know her.  Befriend her.  I’m not just talking about an interview; I’m talking getting to know her as a person.  Invite her over for dinner.  My jobs that I have had a genuine friendship with my employers have been the best and longest lasting.  Think of your nanny has an extension of your family.  You’re going to be spending a lot of time with her, so you really need to like her as a person, and not just as a childcare provider.  You’ll know quickly if she’s the right choice for you.

After Delivery

It’s okay to have a trial period.  Hire the nanny on a short term basis, for a week or two.  That will give you time get to know each other and see how she interacts with your children and if she meets the expectations you have.  You’ll know quickly, if she’s the right nanny.  If the trial period passes and you’re happy, hire her for a long term position.  If the fit wasn’t quite right, that’s okay; you can try again and aren’t committed to one person.  Don’t settle for a certain nanny; try until you find the right one.

So there you have it – A Nanny’s Guide to find the perfect twin nanny.  I think the most important thing to remember is don’t settle for a certain nanny, the perfect one is out there.  Good luck in your search.

Be sure to check out Cori’s blog at Cori’s Big Mouth, or connect with her on Twitter @cori_shelley.

Newborn twins require a 24 hour sleep / feed schedule

Whether you are having twins (triplets, or higher order multiples) soon, or are already in the first few weeks with your twin infants (your “twinfants”), there is one overarching reality that you cannot escape — newborn twins require round the clock care to support their sleep / feed schedule. You will feel like a feeding, burping, diaper changing machine running on minimal sleep. But, arming yourself with some basic information about newborn twins will certainly help you to cope with the reality of the first few months in your twins lives.

Reality #1: Newborn twins sleep a lot

Newborns sleep from 14 to 18 hours per day in the first week, and from 12 – 18 hours per day by one month. Granted, this sleep is broken into 2 – 3 hour chunks, but they do sleep a lot. Planning your time wisely will allow you to maximize your sleep as well. 

Caregivers need sleep, too

In these early weeks, it is tempting to want to be there for every waking.  But, in the long run, doing so may wear you out — literally.  Think about your options — are there ways that each caregiver can obtain an uninterrupted 4 hour sleep stretch?  If you are breastfeeding your twin infants, you might consider skipping 1 feed (and having another caregiver give a bottle of pumped breastmilk or formula). Or, can another caregiver do all the “extras” that need to be done with a feeding and bring the babies to mom for a ”sleep feed”?

Get creative — that single 4 hour sleep stretch can do wonders for your mental health in these early days.

Reality #2: Newborn twins are hungry often

Newborns tummies are tiny. On top of that, formula digests quickly — and breastmilk digests even faster than formula — leaving an empty tummy that needs to be filled. Newborns will wake when they need to be fed — usually every 2 – 4 hours. 

Gently begin moving your twins toward a schedule

While gently working your newborn twins towards a schedule can begin as soon as you bring them home from the hospital, attempting to force longer stretches between feedings should not be attempted for a while. Newborn twin infants should be fed whenever they show signs of hunger. Still, there are many things you can do to begin the process of moving towards a schedule.  For example, if one baby wakes to feed, you can wake the other baby and feed both babies at the same time.  

Check back with us — we’ll feature an article soon about steps you can start to gently begin moving your babies toward a schedule.

Reality #3: You cannot “spoil” a newborn.

Newborn twin infants do not have the mental capacity to cry for attention or just because they want to be held. At this early stage of life, they cry because they have a need. If your twin infants are crying, respond to them quickly — this builds confidence that they are loved and you will take care of their needs.  Check for the big 3 needs of this stage… Hunger, Burp, Wet.

Lay your twin infants down drowsy but awake

Even though you can’t “spoil” them, that doesn’t mean that you can get away with always holding and rocking your babies to sleep. While it is okay to do this sometimes, you won’t want to do it every time — as your babies will soon require holding and rocking in order to fall asleep.  Your twinfants are learning how to fall asleep.  Most of the time, you will want to lay your babies down in their cribs while they are drowsy but not fully asleep yet. If they begin to fuss, you can pick them up and repeat the steps to get them drowsy before laying them down awake in their cribs. 

While in the short run, it may seem easier to rock them to sleep and lay them down after they are fully asleep — in the not too distant future you will be so glad for making the extra effort to lay them down awake in the early days. We promise!  This can be one of the hardest things to do when you are exhausted and you just want to get the babies down as quickly as possible, so that you can return to your bed. But don’t worry, if you choose to hold, rock, and cuddle your babies to sleep, later gentle sleep training techniques can help to solve any issues that might result. 

Reality #4: Growth Spurts will knock your schedule off track.

Just when you think things are settling down to a routine and the start of some kind of schedule, everything will go off-kilter.  Your babies will experience several growth spurts that will require cluster feeding. Your best bet is to expect this to happen and to respond with more frequent feedings when they need it. Don’t get frustrated or feel that you are doing something wrong, or that there is something wrong with your babies — this is normal.

Trust your instincts

If, however, you feel that your babies are hungry all the time and show some other signs of a problem (such as not gaining weight) don’t hesitate to contact your physician. 

Reality #5: “Sleeping Like a Baby” means a lot of interruptions, noises and needs.

Whoever made up that expression “sleeping like a baby” must not have had one! It’s true that sometimes when a baby sleeps it is a very sound sleep and loud noises will not disturb them.  However, most of the time, your babies will be grunting and groaning, and even crying out — but they often continue sleeping despite these noises. The trick is to figure out when they need to be picked up and fed and when to let them resettle themselves. If you respond to every sound, you won’t get any sleep yourselves! 

Baby Monitors in good measure

While baby monitors are wonderful inventions — sometimes it makes sense to go without a monitor, or to keep the volume on your monitor low. Unless your babies are on the other side of the house, you will hear them when they cry.  Keep the monitor’s volume down so that normal sounds of sleep cannot be heard, while cries can.

Reality #6: Sleeping Through The Night (STTN) is really only a 5 hour sleep stretch.

As soon as you’ve had your babies, people will start asking you, “Are they sleeping through the night yet?” and commenting, “Things will be better as soon as they start sleeping through the night.”  What they don’t know — or don’t remember — is that babies don’t really sleep all the way through the night without waking up until many months down the road.

Your Twins First Milestone

But, somewhere after 6 weeks of age (adjusted), babies will be begin to organize their sleep.   This results in a longer stretch of uninterrupted sleep of 4 — 6 hours, usually happening in the late evening hours. For most babies, this will happen between 3 – 6 months of age.  This is it.  This is what your pediatrician means when they ask about “sleeping through the night”. 

The babies will usually still require 1 – 2 feedings during the night at this stage.  And, since there are 2 (or more) babies involved, this still makes for quite a few feedings in the night. Still, once this longer sleep stretch becomes a pattern, you can claim your STTN award. Cherish it — you’ve reached your first major milestone!

copyright 2010 – TwinParenthood / Kathryn Whiteley

Whether you plan to breastfeed or bottle feed your babies, expecting parents of twins with an older child often worry about how they can keep their child occupied while they feed twin newborns.

Take the time to explain to your first born that new babies need to eat frequently. They are putting all of their energy into growing right now, so they can be a little bit boring at times, too. If you are able and choose to breastfeed, explain what it is all about — your child will be curious.

Don’t be afraid to ask your older child for help while you are feeding — bring things to you that you’ll need, and help burp the babies by patting them on the back. Being included and involved helps your older child to adjust and to feel needed.

A little advance planning can go a long way to keep things running smoothly for your older child, your twins, and you.

1.  Special Activity Basket.
Well before your 30th week of your twin pregnancy, begin gathering items for a “special activity” basket. The basket can be brought out for your child to choose an item to play with while you feed your twin infants. You can choose to allow your child to keep the new play item after the feeding session is over, or you can replace the item into the basket and put the basket away until the next session.  Both strategies have some advantages.

Putting the item back will help to retain the “specialness” of the items in the basket. You may find that your child has a particular interest in one thing when they choose that item over and over again. But, be prepared for the inevitable melt downs when the item is taken away and put back to the basket. This can be a learning opportunity for your child.

Having this special activity basket will encourage your toddler to look at feeding times as a positive experience rather than a negative one that diverts the attention of mommy & daddy.  This basket will be especially helpful for the first several weeks — until your little one becomes accustomed to the process and learns that a little independent play is required.

Ideas for items for your special activity basket:

• New toys
• Crayons
• Coloring Books
• Stickers
• Play Dough (and accessories like muffin tins, jello molds, cookie cutters)
• Puzzles
• Match box cars
• New videos
• Books
• Felt boards
• Coupons for watching a special video or tv show
• Jobs your child can help with (this is a treat for them), like dusting or hand washing dishes

While you can use the special activity basket as your primary strategy, you won’t want to go to the basket for every feed. It will be important to keep the “Special Activity Basket” fresh and perceived as a special treat. With that in mind, it is helpful to decide on a schedule for which feedings you will use the basket and which you will use other strategies.

2. Snack or Meal Time.
One or two feedings for your twins can coincide with a snack time for your toddler or preschooler. Plan ahead and have the snack prepared in advance. You can put out crackers, cheese, sliced apples and such to allow your toddler to help herself, or contain your child in their high chair to keep probing hands away at a safe distance.

3. Reading Time.
Another feeding could be designated as “reading time”. Again, planning ahead is key. Pick out a book that will hold your child’s interest and ask him to help by turning the pages. You might choose to have a “special” book that is only read during feeding time — to add to the feeling that your older child is special, too.

4. Story Time.
Wait… didn’t we already cover this? Nope. These are stories without the book. Kids love it when parents make up stories — especially when you incorporate your child and other family members into the story. Ask your child to contribute to the story, too. “What should happen next?”

5. Screentime.
While it is important to limit screen time, an occasional educational video or tv show — when it is planned within the context of an enriched environment — can be a sanity saver. Don’t feel guilty about it. One of our favorite TwinParenthood mantras is “You do what you have to do.”

6. Game Time.
Imagination Games are great to play during feeding time.  Here are some ideas to get you started.

• Animal Actors. Have your child act like a… bear, dog, cat, lion, etc.
• I Spy. This can occupy a young child for quite a while. “I spy something red… you’re getting hotter/colder… etc.”
• Mini scavenger hunt. Plan ahead, and draw pictures on little slips of paper and place your clues around the house. One clue leads to the next and so on. For example, the first clue might be a picture of a specific ball. At the ball, you’ll place the next clue, maybe a firetruck. At the firetruck you place a picture of a puzzle, and so on. Make sure you make the hunt long enough, but easy and age appropriate or else you’ll get sucked into helping!
• Word or Counting Games. Have your child bring out all of their stuffies (one by one) and organize them into a zoo in the living room. Then, have your child return them, one by one, to the bedroom and put them into the toy box or crib — Count them up as you go.

7. Location change.
Often times, just a change in location is enough to ensure your child is happy and occupied. Keeping toys segregated to specific areas of the house help with this strategy. The basement toys stay in the basement, the family room toys stay in the family room, etc.

8. The Entertainer.
Have another adult or older child play with your child. It can be very nice to hire a teenager from the neighborhood to come be mother’s helper for an hour after school each day. This can be a special time for your child and a break for you.

9. Adventure Train/Airplane/Bus.
Set up some chairs to create a vehicle and have your child sit down as the driver. Tell him to close his eyes and imagine taking a trip. Where would he like to go? Describe the scenery, describe things that happen along the way. When you arrive at your destination, have your child continue the action by gathering objects from this special place. A ball can be a coconut. A postcard can be a notice for a party. Help his imagination to soar.

10. New “Twin” Dolls.
Getting new “twin” dolls and caring for the new babies (the dolls) can be very comforting to your child. Have your child shadow you and she pretends to feed her infants, too.

As with all things in life, balance is key. Identify the strategies that work best for you, those that allow you to bond with your infants and maintain that special relationship with your older child, too.

Have you used any of these strategies? What else has worked for you?

copyright 2010 – TwinParenthood / Kathryn Whiteley

Can you feed twins at the same time?

Absolutely! However, it doesn’t work out for everyone, so it is best to keep an open mind about how feeding will go.

• “Tandem Feeding” just means feeding both at the same time, this could be breastfeeding, bottle feeding, or a combination of those.  But in most articles tandem feeding refers to breastfeeding more than one baby at a time. 
• Sometimes one infant will have feeding issues or other medical problems that prevent that baby from breastfeeding, while the other baby may breastfeed like a champ.
• Sometimes moms will feed one baby and then immediately follow with the other because a helper is not available or for some reason tandem feeding doesn’t work out.
• Some families choose to breastfeed one baby while another adult bottle feeds the other baby — then with the next feeding, the babies are swapped. This gives both caregivers an additional opportunity to bond individually with each baby.

I’m having trouble getting the hang of tandem breast feeding – is it worth it?

As we said earlier, it doesn’t work out for everyone, so it is best to keep an open mind about how feeding will go. Don’t beat yourself up if it doesn’t work out for you. There are many circumstances that may prevent you from tandem breastfeeding. Only you can decide if it is worth it to continue attempting to tandem breast feed.  Some of the benefits include:

• Tandem breast feeding can cut the feeding time almost in half
• Some moms report an added closeness between the babies as a result of tandem breastfeeding
• Breastfeeding saves on bottle washing and prep time

Tips for tandem breast feeding

• Practice with a lactation consultant present
• Until you get the hang of it, don’t attempt to tandem feed if you’re alone
• Use a helper to get the babies positioned and to help with burping
• Try to practice at least once a day
• Use pillows! Lots of them
  • Use a double nursing pillow for resting the babies (these are horseshoe shaped, stiff foam pillows that will support two babies at the right level and position for breast feeding). Many twins moms recommend the EZ2Nurse pillow.
  • You may need several pillows under the sides of the double nursing pillow
  • Use a pillow behind mom’s back for support
• Try out different tandem breast feeding holds to determine which works best for you.
  • One way that works well is the “football” or “clutch” hold. One baby tucked under your arm on each side with their legs sticking out towards the back of the chair.
  • Another tandem position is to place the babies in front of you with their legs criss-crossing over each other.
• If one baby is better at breastfeeding than the other, get that baby settled first before adding the second baby

If I don’t tandem feed, how can I deal with two hungry, howling babies at the same time?

The trick here is to cue in to early hunger signals and begin feeding the hungrier baby before either baby gets too hungry.  These early cues include:

• Finger or fist sucking
• Nuzzling into your arm or chest
• Opening and closing of the mouth or smacking
• Moving the head back and forth

If feeding is delayed so that the waiting baby is overly hungry, you can attempt delay or distraction techniques. These include: 

• Use of pacifier
• Placing the baby in a bouncer or vibrator chair
•  Toys
• Offering your (clean) finger for the baby to suck

Twin Tandem Breast Feeding Best Practices

• Keep track (chart) your babies’ feeds (time started, which breast L/R)
• Switch your babies’ assigned breast with each feed
• Practice tandem feeding daily for the first several weeks before making any decisions to discontinue tandem feeds
• Watch for early hunger signs and begin feedings early
• Drink 8 – 12 glasses of water daily (too much or too little can impact milk supply).

The age at which twins, triplets or more begin to notice each other and interact varies widely.  A lot depends on how closely you keep your twins in proximity to each other.  Do they share the same crib? Do you place them side by side on the floor for tummy time? or under an arch for overhead play time? These factors all can influence their interactions.

Some twins are aware of their twin from day one. Parents of multiples have reported their twins crying more when separated from their sibling.

Hospitals in Europe have long practiced co-bedding of multiples because of the reported benefits for the infants, which include improved weight gain and growth as well as a reduction in physiological stress.  Hospitals in the United States have begun to follow suit. However, hospitals in both countries are rethinking their policies.  

More recent reports indicate that co-bedding can increase the chances of SIDS, although some sources attribute the higher incidence of SIDS among multiples to be primarily related to low birth weight and not necessarily co-sleeping.   A commentary published in the journal “Pediatrics” on November 30, 2007 titled, “Cobedding Twins and Higher-Order Multiples in a Hospital Setting” concludes:

“Although cobedding multiples has become more widely practiced in hospitals in the United States, neither the safety nor the benefit of this practice has been documented in the published literature. Parents should be encouraged to follow established safe-sleep practices for infants at home.”

Even if you decide against co-bedding your twins, you can encourage their interactions by keeping the cribs close to each other in the bedroom. During activity time, you can encourage interactions by placing your twins together on the floor, side-by-side in the stroller, and holding them face to face with another adult.

No matter what age your twins begin responding to each other, it will happen sooner or later. It would be pretty tough to grow up as a twin without forming a strong twin relationship that involves playing, fighting, and emotional support.  As parents of twins, we long for the day when we see the twin bond developing — and some of us must be more patient than others.

Copyright 2010 Kathryn Whiteley — TwinParenthood.com

Many new parents having twins, triplets or more wonder and worry if they should hire someone to help care for their twins in the first several weeks or months. Based on my own experience and the results of several surveys conducted by TwinParenthood.com, the resounding answer is YES.

• Yes! If you can easily afford to hire help for the first several weeks, you will not regret doing so
• Yes! If you can’t easily afford to hire help, but can scrape together money to hire help, you will not regret doing so

Still, many twin parents will tell you that hiring someone to help you with your twin infants’ care is not strictly necessary — especially if you have volunteer help.

Volunteer help can come in many forms. It may be family that come to stay with you, or it may be a church or neighborhood community that rallies to your aid. Our previous article, Twin Baby Shower Gifts that Provide Real Help for Mom, gives some great advice about how to incorporate volunteer signups into your twin baby shower. 

But, not everyone has a support network to step in. So, hiring help makes sense. Once you have decided to hire help, the next question quickly arises. 

Should we hire help to care for our twins during the day or night?

Day:  Typically you’ll get more for your dollar during the day if you hire someone for daytime help with your twins because you can hire someone that is willing to do more than strictly baby care (fix lunch, do dishes or wash bottles, for example).  And, daytime help is typically less expensive than night help.

Night:  Getting at least one 4 hour uninterrupted sleep stretch can make a huge difference in your physical and mental well being. If you don’t have at least 3 caregivers in your rotation, you will have difficulty being able to achieve at least one 4 hour stretch of uninterrupted sleep. If you are not able to schedule this in without paid assistance, then you should hire night help.   

What type of help should we hire?

The type of help you will need depends a lot upon your particular situation, your financial reserves, and how much volunteer help you will be receiving. If money is unlimited, you can hire several types of help to cover all the bases: a post-partum doula for right after the babies are born, a night-nanny for the first 3 – 4 months, a day time nanny and a housekeeper.  Unfortunately, the reality is that most of us can’t afford all of that.

Regardless of what type of help you decide on, you should interview your candidates to ensure they have experience with newborns. Experience with twins is nice, but not strictly necessary.

Doula:  A post-partum doula has special expertise with newborns and mother care.  A doula is usually more expensive than other types of care. Doulas are often available for over-night care.

Nanny: A nanny may live in or out, but typically a nanny works only for you – in your home. A nanny is usually considered an employee of the household (and thus, you will usually need to pay vacation and holidays, and consider the tax implications). Nannies responsibilities often include additional tasks such as laundry, dishes, and other light housework. Be sure this is discussed prior to hiring your twins’ nanny.

Night-Nanny: A night nanny is a nanny that works at night.  Often they try to rest when the babies are sleeping, but may do some household tasks such as emptying the dishwasher or folding laundry – again, be sure to negotiate this prior to hiring.

Au Pair: An au pair is a foreign national on a work visa for a 1 year term. They live in your home and are paid a small salary, room & board, and travel & insurance expenses. Typically, they are required to take some kind of coursework (which you will need to make accommodations for in their schedule). Keep in mind that an Au Pair is not a 24 hour caregiver although they live in your home.

Daycare Providers: This is usually in someone else’s home or facility and your babies will not be the only ones receiving care. Daycare providers must be licensed.

Baby Sitter: Not always, but often a baby sitter is used on an irregular, as needed basis. Baby sitters also do not usually perform extra tasks such as light housework.  The term “baby sitter” is often used as an over-arching word to describe anyone who provides child care.

Mother’s Helper: Typically the least expensive of all options. A mother’s helper can be a high school student that comes over after school to help with housework and baby care. Usually a mother’s helper does not take on full responsibility for caring for the babies – but assists with mother present.

Housekeeper: One option not often considered is to hire a housekeeper who will take care of the house, the dishes, the bottles, the pump, cleaning the bathrooms – all of the things that you will not have the energy to do.  It is easy to become resentful of your twins’ caregiver who is spending sweet cuddle time with your babies while you are off doing household chores.  Wouldn’t you rather pay someone to do the things you don’t want to do, while you dedicate your time to your twinfants?

All of the options available for the early weeks of care with your twinfants often seem overwhelming. But, don’t be tempted to put it off, to “wait and see” what you’ll need. To be on the safe side, you’ll want to plan, interview, and hire your caregiver before reaching your 35th week. If you are very unsure and expense is an issue, start with hiring a part-time housekeeper or mother’s helper.

Bottom line, you will not regret having the help. 

What did you do in the early weeks or months?

Copyright 2010 Kathryn Whiteley — TwinParenthood.com

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Like any experience with twins, grocery shopping with twins can either be heaven or the opposite.  Here are some ideas and options for your next grocery shopping trip.

1. Order groceries online and have them delivered.  Not that many years ago, online grocery shopping was so limited, it wasn’t worth the effort. But now that the kinks have been worked out, online shopping has huge benefits for fatigued busy parents of twins. Once you get past the initial couple of orders, placing orders is quick and easy. Since your previous orders are in the system, you just need to tweak your order and you’re good to go.
2. Wear a Baby. Using a single child seat shopping cart and wearing a baby (in a front pack, backpack, or sling), is a great option for a successful trip to the grocery store with twins.
3. Shop at stores with double carts. Many stores now have large carts with two child seats. And, some have ”car carts” as my kids call them. These shopping carts are encased in little plastic cars (or they are attached to the front of the cart) and are loved by toddler and preschool aged twins. The cars often have more than one driver’s seat and steering wheel.
4. Divide and Conquer. Take two adults, split up the shopping list and the babies and meet back at the checkout.
5. Bring a large stroller. Hang reusable shopping bags from the handle of the stroller and fill ‘em up.  Some strollers also have a large storage area underneath. It was amazing how much I could load up on my double jogging stroller.  This system is great for a quick stop at the store, but doesn’t work as well for a full grocery visit.
6. Put both babies in one seat. This technique uses a single child seat shopping cart. Put one baby on the left side with her left leg out the leg hole, and tuck her right foot under her — like a 1/2 criss-cross applesauce. Put the other baby on the right side with the opposite leg positioning. Two sharing one seat.
7. Use two shopping carts. When at a store with single child seat shopping carts, sometimes your only option is to use two carts. Push one in front of you, while you pull one along behind you.
8. Push the cart, pull a stroller.  Or push the stroller along next to you by holding onto the side of the stroller. Easy enough… you’ve been working on those arm muscles with all that baby lifting anyway — right?
9. Leave babies at home. Ahhh… the grocery store, alone!  I TOLD you grocery shopping can be heaven! This option requires an accomplice, but Oh, so worth it sometimes!

I know there are many more ingenious ideas for grocery shopping, and many more tips and tricks. For one, I do recommend a shopping cart cover — but that’s a subject for another day.  Please leave a comment to let me know what else I missed.

Copyright 2010 Kathryn Whiteley — TwinParenthood.com

Bathing twins is a challenge.  When they are infants (or “twinfants”), bathing is relatively easy — and yet, there are still tricks of the trade that moms and dads of multiples — who have “been there, done that” can pass along.  Still, the logistics of bathing twins can get a little tricky. TwinParenthood.com’s tips for bathing twins should help.

First, I must say that it is not necessary to bathe your infants daily.  We fell into a routine of bathing every other day (or even every 3rd day) with our infants.  When you have infant twins — life is crazy enough without adding stress to your life with self-talk about how you should be bathing your twins nightly.  As they grew, we retained the every other day routine. It has made our life much less stressful.  Of course, we break our routine when the kids get exceptionally dirty and need an immediate bath.

Second, mostly we don’t bathe our children as part of their bedtime routine.  We found it was a great activity to fit into our regular daily routine — to kill the time and just “get through the day”.  Bedtime was a blur and with feeding, diapering, books, and all the “stuff” of bedtime routines — adding bath time was just too much. So we moved it to another time and are much happier for it.

One last thing before we get to the tips from parents of multiples who have “been there, done that”.  Please do not ever leave your babies or small children alone in the bathtub.  Adult supervision is imperative. It only takes a moment for an accident to happen. Most baby drownings occur when the baby is left alone in the bathroom or in the care of an older child. Don’t risk it. Please keep your baby within arms reach.

Tips for Bathing Twins

1. Detachable Shower Head.  Use a detachable shower head when bathing your twins.  It makes it easier to rinse hair and is entertaining for babies/kids, too.  Be sure to get one with an on/off switch so you don’t have to run the water continuously.
2. Visors or Swim Goggles.  Use a baby bath visor or swim goggles for your little ones when washing their hair. Many kids don’t like the water running down in their eyes and these are a fun option to prevent it.

Options for Bathing Twinfants (Twin Infants)

1. Bathing in the sink.  When the babies were very small, we bathed in the sink, one baby at a time.  My back was already sore and I didn’t want to add pain by bending over the bathtub. We put down a foam bath cushion, filled a little water in the sink and away we go!
2. Bathing next to the sink. Again, a back saver. We sometimes used the hard plastic infant bathtub that we put on the counter next to the sink. These are products that are great to purchased “gently used” rather than new.  There are folding options (for saving space), molded hard plastic options, and foam lined options. There are many infant bathtub options, and really any of these products are about as good as the next.
3. Plastic bath seat.  After the first several weeks, we moved to the tub using a plastic bath support or seat.  These are not the “sitting up” type of seats, rather, they cradle the baby in the tub and support your twinfant’s head.  Most often, we opted to have one baby in a bouncer chair next to the tub while one baby got mom or dad’s full attention in the tub.  But, these can also work with both babies in the tub together.

Options for Bathing Twin Babies or Toddlers

1. Blow Up Bathtubs.  When they are starting to sit by themselves (usually between 4 – 7  months), and are more active, nothing beats a blow up bathtub for a fun and secure bath. These little baths are the perfect size for sitting a baby at each end of the tub, facing each other.  The babies are able to interact with each other and play in the water.  The blow up rim helps stabilize them when sitting.  As when they are younger, it is still crucial that you always keep your babies within arms reach.  Also, never fill the large bath tub with water which could allow the inflatable bath tub to float up and tip out your precious cargo.
2. Laundry Baskets.  When they are sitting up well, a plastic laundry basket (or two) is tons of fun for babies to enjoy the bath. Since there are slots in the baskets, the water flows through the basket, while the basket offers support for the baby sitting up.
3. Baby Bath Seats. Although we tried these, these were never my personal favorite. If you opt for these, please be sure to get a newer model — as the older models are not as safe.

Summer Pool Fun

 Blowing up a large pool or filling a hard plastic pool with water is a big undertaking when you are caring for twins.  It’s fine and great occasionally, but not something you want to undertake every day.  And besides, those larger pools pretty much require that mom get in the pool with the babies.  When the babies are still somewhat unstable, it is then a challenge to help keep them sitting upright. 

Little blow up bath tub to the rescue!  Our little blow up tub can also transition out-of-doors for the perfect outdoor pool for twin babies. These little blow up baths are so great for fun water play for twin babies in the summer. Again, place one baby at each end of the tub, and they can splash away. Best of all, mom doesn’t have to swim, too!

Hope you find these twin bath tips and summer pool tips helpful. I think the best piece of advice about bathing twins I’ve heard is to “just have fun”. Something about water seems to strip away not only the dirt, but also the stresses of the day.  I hope you enjoy your little ones in the bath and pool, and I’d love to hear your twin bath time tips. Please leave a comment.

Copyright 2010 Kathryn Whiteley — TwinParenthood.com

I was sitting around with a couple of twin friends the other day, when we began talking about what we had in our diaper bags. We had a good laugh when we thought about what our old work friends would think about our highly stimulating conversation. But, none-the-less, we continued our discussion and uncovered some really helpful “must have” items.

These friends had a couple of suggestions that had not occurred to me.  So, I posed the question online to my friends in Eastside Mothers of Multiples (my local twins club) and received even more helpful tips.  These are tips from twins parents that have “been there — done that”.

Many of the parents use the “plastic bag system”.  Some diaper bags are fantastic, with all sorts of special pockets — but even in those, it is helpful to further organize the contents of your diaper bag.  Clear plastic zipper bags (aka “Ziploc Bags”) of different sizes make it easy to find things and to keep up your inventory.

Diaper Bag Basics

Of course, every diaper bag needs to have a good selection of the basics. This is not intended to be an “end-all, beat-all” list of the basic stuff. I’ll list it here for the brand newbies out there. But, it doesn’t take even sleep deprived new parents of twins, triplets, or higher order multiples long to figure out this basic item list. If I’ve missed something obvious, please feel free to leave me a comment and point it out.

Outside the Diaper Bag

1. Plastic Bags in dispenser.  This is a neat trick — buy one of those plastic bag dispensers that attach to a dog leash.  Attach them to the outside of your diaper back, and you are set for disposing of diapers or wrapping up soiled clothing.
2. Hand Sanitizer.  Some of the travel sized hand sanitizer products come in a little neoprene case with a clip.  Attach to the outside of the diaper bag for convenience — you’ll use this a lot!
3. Luggage Tag.  A handy luggage tag with your cell phone number — in case you lose the diaper bag.

Inside the Diaper Bag

1. Diapering Bag.   This gallon sized plastic zipper bag has all the essentials for a diaper change.
   • diapers
   • travel pack of wipes
   • diaper creme
   • hand sanitizer – travel size (yes, one outside the main diaper bag AND one inside in the diapering ziploc.)
   • changing pad
2. Clothing Bag.  This gallon sized plastic zipper bag contains 2 changes of clothes
3. Pacifier Bag.  For those that use these, this small plastic zipper bag contains 2 extra pacifiers.
4. Burp Cloth/Extra Blanket.
5. Feeding Supplies.
   • Bottles
   • Packets of formula (premeasure your own to save money over pre-packaged serving sizes)
   • Bottled water
   • Bibs (disposable is handy)
6. First Aid / Medical.
   • Mini First Aid Kit (with band aids, anti-bacterial ointment or spray, gauze, cleanser wipes, etc.)
   • Medications.  Ask your pharmacy for an extra label and small bottle for your child’s medications. Even if you normally administer medications at home, having a back up supply is so  helpful “just in case”.

Beyond the Diaper Bag Basics

1. Leashes. I’ve gotta confess, I Love Leashes! We used the lightweight harness type with dog leashes that extend/retract. These were small enough to be able to keep in our diaper bag so we had them when we needed them. Keeping kids safe should always be a priority.
2. Entertainment.  One or more gallon sized zipper plastic bags filled with distraction.
   • books
   • crayons or markers / paper tablet / stickers
   • duplos / legos
   • electronics (music, video, etc.)
   • small car
   • bubbles
3. Snacks.  One or more small hard plastic containers (Tupperware) with quick snacks.
   • crackers
   • cereal or cereal bars
   • cookies
   • mini fruit cups
4. Adult Needs.  One zipper bag with adult essentials.
   • spare keys
   • tissues
   • extra cash

Now, it’s been a while since I hauled around a twin diaper bag, but I do still often bring a backpack crammed full of some of these same items. You never know when you’ll have an unexpected need when you’re out and about.   I know there are many more fantastic tricks “out there” — because there are so many creative parents “out there”.  Please leave a comment and share your special tip or trick.

Copyright 2010 Kathryn Whiteley — TwinParenthood.com