TwinParenthood.com

It seems that sleep issues plague all parents at some time or another.

But for parents of twins, triplets, or higher order multiples, it seems like issues with sleep are magnified because every sleeping moment is so precious.  While there is no “magic bullet” to solve all sleep problems, the wake up light system (or “morning light” system) comes pretty darn close to it.

The wake up light is simply a light plugged into a timer. Place the wake up light where your twins can see it from their cribs or beds.

Crucial to the success of the wake up light system, is the consistent application and enforcement of the sleep rules. Make a poster with your sleep rules and place it on the wall near the wake up light. You can include a simple drawing of a child in bed with their eyes closed.

When you first introduce the light and the sleep rules, do it at a time OTHER than bed time or nap time. You can read and point to each word, you can point to the drawing of the sleeping child, or you can pantomime the actions as well as acting out the opposite of each. This is the one and only time you would ever act out the opposite of the desired actions.  This is done just so they understand, and you don’t want them to make a game of doing the opposite of the sleep rules. Talk about the wake up light and point to it.  Turn the light on to show what it looks like and explain, “when it comes on, you can get up!”.  Then, turn the light off and review the sleep rules again.

Review the sleep rules every night at bed time.

If they violate the sleep rules, don’t get angry. Just calmly say “It’s sleep time.” and take them back to their bed and lay them down. If you need to, you can repeat the sleep rules in a monotone whisper: “the light is off: lay down, close eyes, be still, be quiet”. Do not linger, do not give kisses, etc. just lay them in bed then leave the room. Do this as many times as you need to do it — do not waver, do not get angry… just matter of fact and boring.

If there are some bad habits to be broken, it might take 3-4 days of this “matter of fact” putting them back in bed and repeating the sleep rules. After a few days they will get bored, but you might have to be prepared to repeat this action many, many times over in a night/morning during the training period. Don’t get discouraged. If you are consistent and really don’t give them any power by responding in a different way, talking with them, pleading with them, scolding them, they will get bored and will stop violating the sleep rules.

To help your twins feel successful in the beginning, you can set the light to come on earlier than your ultimate desired wake up time — early enough that you KNOW they will still be asleep. That way, when they wake up, the light will be on and they can start their day right away. The first few days you can plan to get up early and be ready to greet them with “The light is on, Hooray! Good job!”. You can then move the wake up time gradually back to the actual time you want them to wake up. Depending how far you need to move their wake up time, you’ll want to go in 5-15 minute increments and leave it at each setting for 2-3 days.

Be very animated about all successes (especially in the first several months). Anytime they get up after the wake up light has come on, make a big deal out of it.  “Good Job! Look! The Light is on!  Time to get up! Good Morning!”.  Anytime they get up when the light is not on, be very monotone and boring, “Look. The light is not on. Sleep Time.” 

What age is appropriate to start using the wake-up light?

Babies as young as 7 – 8 months can use a wake up light. The nice thing about starting at a very young age is that the wake up light quickly becomes a natural part of their life — almost like the sun rising.  A young baby can sometimes take longer to get the hang of the light — but when you are consistent and continue to direct their attention to the light, they will eventually get it.

Of course, it is always important to assess the reason for any violations of the sleep rules. If there is a need that must be taken care of, do so as quickly and quietly as possible. Do not talk unless critically needed.  As the adult, it is up to you to judge if a violation of the rules is reasonable under the circumstances.  If it is not reasonable, do not argue, discuss, or explain — just revert back to the monotone,  “The light is not on. Sleep Time.”   If they are old enough for discussion, there will be time during daylight hours to discuss why the violation was not okay.

Toddlers do very well with a wake up light system, but older children can still benefit from it as well.  Sometimes, especially in the winter, it is hard to tell if it is time to get up in the morning because it might still be dark at the “normal” wake up time for your child.  The wake up light can help a child who wakes in the night wondering if it is time to get up.  If the light is off, it is still sleep time.

Hopefully this introduction to the wake up light system has given you a good overview. The wake up light system solves many different kinds of sleep and bedtime issues, and we’ll get into specific scenarios in future articles.  In the next article in this series, we’ll talk about how the wake up light can help with children that think that bedtime means playtime.

Copyright 2010 Kathryn Whiteley — TwinParenthood.com

Expecting Twins? Have Questions?

Today, TwinParenthood.com is very excited to announce a new service available to new parents of twins and those expecting twins.  Starting today, parents expecting twins, or those with twin infants (or as we like to call them, “twinfants”), can submit up to five questions to TwinParenthood.com, and receive a personalized answer.  This new service is free for a limited time.

Your questions can be about anything twin related. 

• Equipment to buy
• Nursery set up
• Bringing twins home
• Sibling Issues
• Pregnancy Questions
• Managing the Nights (or the days!)
• You name it

To submit your questions, please visit our Expecting Twins page.  Hope to hear from you soon!

Although parents of twins, triplets, or more are often “maxed out”, it is still important to make sure you are doing little things to help boost your baby’s intelligence.  It is not difficult, and these little things can help to ensure your children grow to be inquisitive with a desire to learn.

Scientists continue to conduct research into human intelligence. While it is true that genetics play an important role, environmental experiences early in life are a significant factor in how much of that genetic potential is reached. Exposing your twins, triplets, or higher order multiples to an enriched environment can exercise brain synapses — leading to forming more and stronger brain connections.  I’m not a scientist, but I find this field of study fascinating, and I did strive for an enriched environment for my twins. My efforts were rewarded with bright, intelligent kids with a curiosity for life. 

Things you can do to enrich your baby’s environment

1. Talk. The number one thing you can do to maximize baby intelligence is talk. How easy is that? Talk about everything. Talk about changing your baby’s diaper. Talk about the weather. Talk about being lonely – or having visitors.  Talk about the changing seasons.  Just talk.  At first, it might feel strange talking to these little infants that couldn’t possibly understand a word you are saying. But if you keep up a running narrative about what you are doing, pretty soon it becomes a habit and is easy to do. And, sorry folks, the television does not count as talking to your baby. If you do none of the other things in this list – talk.

    

   Info:B. Hart and T.R. Risley studied the amount of words spoken in homes and correlated it to IQ and academic performance through fifth grade. Based on their researched, they concluded, “The most important aspect of children’s language experience is its amount.” Learn more about their research from their book, Meaningful differences in the Everyday Experience of Young Children.

    

2. Count. Since you are already talking to your babies about everything you do, it is easy to begin counting everything you do as part of your narrative. Count the stuffies as you put them away, count the dishes and the cups, count the buttons as you dress your twins, triplets, or more. Count forwards, count backward. Just count.

    

   Tip:As your twins, triplets, or more grow into toddlers and sharing becomes an issue, ask them to count to share a toy. “Count to 10 then it will be your turn.” At first you will do the counting, but ask them to join with you. “Count with me… one… two… three…” Count very slowly so they can keep up.

 

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-iRz7X14h4]

 

3. Sort and Group. Now, you are already talking and counting, so start grouping.  Sort the toys by color, resort them by size. Count them in their groups. Talk about differences in size – “Oh, there is a big truck! Look at it next to that tiny little car!”

   TIP: Introduce the concept of ‘value’ at an early age by asking them to group 5 small toys and then trading that for 1 bigger toy. You can do this with a pretend store. When you are ready to purge some baby toys, buy a couple of toddler toys and then ask them to find 5 baby toys to trade in for a “big boy toy”.

 

4. Breastfeed (or not). There is conflicting information about the benefit to intelligence of breastfeeding.  If you can, then breastfeed. If you are not able to, then pump and bottle feed. And if you are not able to pump, don’t worry that you are not doing your best for your babies. You are… whether you breastfeed or bottle feed, just be sure to cuddle, love, stroke her head, gaze into her eyes, and talk.
5. Music. Turn off the tv and play Mozart.  Many studies have shown a correlation between listening or learning to play music and performance of math tasks.
6. Walk. Get outside and walk with your babies everyday if you can. Expose them to the world around you. If the weather limits you, do your best to make it happen when possible. And when you are stuck indoors, find some active play and exercises you can do together.

No matter how tired you are, doing these things will help boost your twins’ intelligence, help them grow to be inquisitive with a desire to learn, and will have an added benefit for you.  Doing these things will help lift your mood. And when you’re sleep deprived from taking care of twins or more, these little lifts are huge. Give it a try.

Copyright 2009 – TwinParenthood.com / Kathryn Whiteley

Daylight Savings Time impacts twin babies’ schedules

As yet another “Daylight Savings Time” change approaches, I am reminded what a nightmare it can be for families with young twins, triplets, or more.  My kids were very early risers.  No matter what time we put them to bed, they would get up extremely early. Toss in a time change and we were in trouble. So, I’ve put together some tips as you move towards a time change, that can help ease the transition.

1. A week before the time change, begin putting your babies to bed 15 minutes earlier each night (or later depending which direction the time change is moving). 
2. If you do not already use a “wake up” light, begin using one.  A “wake up” light is simply a night-light that you have plugged into a timer. Except, this night-light is off all night.  When it is the desired wake up time, the light comes on.  Place the light up high so that the babies can see the light from their cribs or beds.  Choose a night-light that is not so bright that it will wake the babies if they are sleeping.  The idea of the “wake up” light is to train your child that when the light is off, it is time for sleep. When it is on, it is okay to get up (or to call for Mommy or Daddy).   Check out our article series on the “wake up” light (aka the “morning light”).  These timers can be purchased at home improvement stores.
3. Depending where you live, you might want to invest in black out shades. These shades are marvelous.  Babies naturally begin to wake when the room lightens in the morning.  These shades block the light out so babies can continue to sleep.  JC Penny is a good source for ordering (no, I have not been compensated for listing them as a resource).

Taking these steps will help your twins, triplets, or higher order multiples to adjust to the new time.  But, even without using any gradual methods, most babies will adjust within a couple of days when making a time change “cold turkey”.

Copyright 2009 – twinParenthood.com / Kathryn Whiteley

Many twin and multiples parents worry that they’ll have trouble telling their newborn twins, triplets, or higher order multiples apart.  Often times, even fraternal twins are hard to distinguish. 

And yet, “identical twins” are not completely identical. There are many differences in appearance.  Typically, one twin will be narrower in the face — the other rounder. Some identicals are even “mirror image” of each other. 

The good news is that most parents quickly learn the subtle physical differences between their twins / multiples, and it is mostly friends and outside family that have difficulty.

Still, there are techniques to make it easier for everyone in your multiples’ lives to tell them apart. Having some of these techniques in place will be especially helpful when part-time caregivers come to your aid.

1. Hospital wrist bands. Keep the hospital wrist bands on for a couple of days after returning home.
2. Assigned colors. Assign a color to each of your twins, triplets, or higher order multiples.
3. Dressing in assigned colors. Purchase clothing in the assigned colors and dress each accordingly. It can be fun to dress twins in matching outfits, differing by assigned color.
4. Paint a toenail. An age old, tried and true method to tell newborn twins / multiples apart is to paint a toenail on one or more of the babies (in your chosen assigned color for each, of course). Why a toenail and not a fingernail? When the babies begin to suck their fingers, you can avoid ingestion of the polish.
5. Color code your charts. If you keep charts for tracking feedings and sleep schedules, highlight each infant’s chart with their assigned color. (Check back for a future article on the subject of charting your infants’ schedules.)
6. Color code your cribs. Choose bedding in the matching assigned colors, and place colored labels with their names over the cribs. If they share a crib, always place each infant under their name on either the left or right.

When our babies were young, we soon were easily able to tell them apart. We tried to take a lot of pictures, but didn’t always have time to go in and label the photos to identify who was who.  Big mistake.  Now that they are older, we look back at early pictures and often can’t tell them apart!  At the time, we were easily able to key in on the differences, but looking back is more difficult. Often times, it is the color coding of the outfits in the pictures that lets us know.

Even with techniques in place, mix-ups can (and do!) happen. The trick is to be extra careful to check your charts and schedules and double-check which baby you’re holding. This can be critical in the case of food allergies, for example.  One of our identical girls had a severe allergy to milk, the other not.  A mix up did happen once, which resulted in our little sweetie vomiting after her feeding. Fortunately it worked out fine, but was pretty scary for a few hours.

How about you… what have you done to tell your newborn twins apart? Have you ever mixed them up?