Like any experience with twins, grocery shopping with twins can either be heaven or the opposite.  Here are some ideas and options for your next grocery shopping trip.

1. Order groceries online and have them delivered.  Not that many years ago, online grocery shopping was so limited, it wasn’t worth the effort. But now that the kinks have been worked out, online shopping has huge benefits for fatigued busy parents of twins. Once you get past the initial couple of orders, placing orders is quick and easy. Since your previous orders are in the system, you just need to tweak your order and you’re good to go.
2. Wear a Baby. Using a single child seat shopping cart and wearing a baby (in a front pack, backpack, or sling), is a great option for a successful trip to the grocery store with twins.
3. Shop at stores with double carts. Many stores now have large carts with two child seats. And, some have ”car carts” as my kids call them. These shopping carts are encased in little plastic cars (or they are attached to the front of the cart) and are loved by toddler and preschool aged twins. The cars often have more than one driver’s seat and steering wheel.
4. Divide and Conquer. Take two adults, split up the shopping list and the babies and meet back at the checkout.
5. Bring a large stroller. Hang reusable shopping bags from the handle of the stroller and fill ‘em up.  Some strollers also have a large storage area underneath. It was amazing how much I could load up on my double jogging stroller.  This system is great for a quick stop at the store, but doesn’t work as well for a full grocery visit.
6. Put both babies in one seat. This technique uses a single child seat shopping cart. Put one baby on the left side with her left leg out the leg hole, and tuck her right foot under her — like a 1/2 criss-cross applesauce. Put the other baby on the right side with the opposite leg positioning. Two sharing one seat.
7. Use two shopping carts. When at a store with single child seat shopping carts, sometimes your only option is to use two carts. Push one in front of you, while you pull one along behind you.
8. Push the cart, pull a stroller.  Or push the stroller along next to you by holding onto the side of the stroller. Easy enough… you’ve been working on those arm muscles with all that baby lifting anyway — right?
9. Leave babies at home. Ahhh… the grocery store, alone!  I TOLD you grocery shopping can be heaven! This option requires an accomplice, but Oh, so worth it sometimes!

I know there are many more ingenious ideas for grocery shopping, and many more tips and tricks. For one, I do recommend a shopping cart cover — but that’s a subject for another day.  Please leave a comment to let me know what else I missed.

Copyright 2010 Kathryn Whiteley — TwinParenthood.com

Bathing twins is a challenge.  When they are infants (or “twinfants”), bathing is relatively easy — and yet, there are still tricks of the trade that moms and dads of multiples — who have “been there, done that” can pass along.  Still, the logistics of bathing twins can get a little tricky. TwinParenthood.com’s tips for bathing twins should help.

First, I must say that it is not necessary to bathe your infants daily.  We fell into a routine of bathing every other day (or even every 3rd day) with our infants.  When you have infant twins — life is crazy enough without adding stress to your life with self-talk about how you should be bathing your twins nightly.  As they grew, we retained the every other day routine. It has made our life much less stressful.  Of course, we break our routine when the kids get exceptionally dirty and need an immediate bath.

Second, mostly we don’t bathe our children as part of their bedtime routine.  We found it was a great activity to fit into our regular daily routine — to kill the time and just “get through the day”.  Bedtime was a blur and with feeding, diapering, books, and all the “stuff” of bedtime routines — adding bath time was just too much. So we moved it to another time and are much happier for it.

One last thing before we get to the tips from parents of multiples who have “been there, done that”.  Please do not ever leave your babies or small children alone in the bathtub.  Adult supervision is imperative. It only takes a moment for an accident to happen. Most baby drownings occur when the baby is left alone in the bathroom or in the care of an older child. Don’t risk it. Please keep your baby within arms reach.

Tips for Bathing Twins

1. Detachable Shower Head.  Use a detachable shower head when bathing your twins.  It makes it easier to rinse hair and is entertaining for babies/kids, too.  Be sure to get one with an on/off switch so you don’t have to run the water continuously.
2. Visors or Swim Goggles.  Use a baby bath visor or swim goggles for your little ones when washing their hair. Many kids don’t like the water running down in their eyes and these are a fun option to prevent it.

Options for Bathing Twinfants (Twin Infants)

1. Bathing in the sink.  When the babies were very small, we bathed in the sink, one baby at a time.  My back was already sore and I didn’t want to add pain by bending over the bathtub. We put down a foam bath cushion, filled a little water in the sink and away we go!
2. Bathing next to the sink. Again, a back saver. We sometimes used the hard plastic infant bathtub that we put on the counter next to the sink. These are products that are great to purchased “gently used” rather than new.  There are folding options (for saving space), molded hard plastic options, and foam lined options. There are many infant bathtub options, and really any of these products are about as good as the next.
3. Plastic bath seat.  After the first several weeks, we moved to the tub using a plastic bath support or seat.  These are not the “sitting up” type of seats, rather, they cradle the baby in the tub and support your twinfant’s head.  Most often, we opted to have one baby in a bouncer chair next to the tub while one baby got mom or dad’s full attention in the tub.  But, these can also work with both babies in the tub together.

Options for Bathing Twin Babies or Toddlers

1. Blow Up Bathtubs.  When they are starting to sit by themselves (usually between 4 – 7  months), and are more active, nothing beats a blow up bathtub for a fun and secure bath. These little baths are the perfect size for sitting a baby at each end of the tub, facing each other.  The babies are able to interact with each other and play in the water.  The blow up rim helps stabilize them when sitting.  As when they are younger, it is still crucial that you always keep your babies within arms reach.  Also, never fill the large bath tub with water which could allow the inflatable bath tub to float up and tip out your precious cargo.
2. Laundry Baskets.  When they are sitting up well, a plastic laundry basket (or two) is tons of fun for babies to enjoy the bath. Since there are slots in the baskets, the water flows through the basket, while the basket offers support for the baby sitting up.
3. Baby Bath Seats. Although we tried these, these were never my personal favorite. If you opt for these, please be sure to get a newer model — as the older models are not as safe.

Summer Pool Fun

 Blowing up a large pool or filling a hard plastic pool with water is a big undertaking when you are caring for twins.  It’s fine and great occasionally, but not something you want to undertake every day.  And besides, those larger pools pretty much require that mom get in the pool with the babies.  When the babies are still somewhat unstable, it is then a challenge to help keep them sitting upright. 

Little blow up bath tub to the rescue!  Our little blow up tub can also transition out-of-doors for the perfect outdoor pool for twin babies. These little blow up baths are so great for fun water play for twin babies in the summer. Again, place one baby at each end of the tub, and they can splash away. Best of all, mom doesn’t have to swim, too!

Hope you find these twin bath tips and summer pool tips helpful. I think the best piece of advice about bathing twins I’ve heard is to “just have fun”. Something about water seems to strip away not only the dirt, but also the stresses of the day.  I hope you enjoy your little ones in the bath and pool, and I’d love to hear your twin bath time tips. Please leave a comment.

Copyright 2010 Kathryn Whiteley — TwinParenthood.com

I was sitting around with a couple of twin friends the other day, when we began talking about what we had in our diaper bags. We had a good laugh when we thought about what our old work friends would think about our highly stimulating conversation. But, none-the-less, we continued our discussion and uncovered some really helpful “must have” items.

These friends had a couple of suggestions that had not occurred to me.  So, I posed the question online to my friends in Eastside Mothers of Multiples (my local twins club) and received even more helpful tips.  These are tips from twins parents that have “been there — done that”.

Many of the parents use the “plastic bag system”.  Some diaper bags are fantastic, with all sorts of special pockets — but even in those, it is helpful to further organize the contents of your diaper bag.  Clear plastic zipper bags (aka “Ziploc Bags”) of different sizes make it easy to find things and to keep up your inventory.

Diaper Bag Basics

Of course, every diaper bag needs to have a good selection of the basics. This is not intended to be an “end-all, beat-all” list of the basic stuff. I’ll list it here for the brand newbies out there. But, it doesn’t take even sleep deprived new parents of twins, triplets, or higher order multiples long to figure out this basic item list. If I’ve missed something obvious, please feel free to leave me a comment and point it out.

Outside the Diaper Bag

1. Plastic Bags in dispenser.  This is a neat trick — buy one of those plastic bag dispensers that attach to a dog leash.  Attach them to the outside of your diaper back, and you are set for disposing of diapers or wrapping up soiled clothing.
2. Hand Sanitizer.  Some of the travel sized hand sanitizer products come in a little neoprene case with a clip.  Attach to the outside of the diaper bag for convenience — you’ll use this a lot!
3. Luggage Tag.  A handy luggage tag with your cell phone number — in case you lose the diaper bag.

Inside the Diaper Bag

1. Diapering Bag.   This gallon sized plastic zipper bag has all the essentials for a diaper change.
   • diapers
   • travel pack of wipes
   • diaper creme
   • hand sanitizer – travel size (yes, one outside the main diaper bag AND one inside in the diapering ziploc.)
   • changing pad
2. Clothing Bag.  This gallon sized plastic zipper bag contains 2 changes of clothes
3. Pacifier Bag.  For those that use these, this small plastic zipper bag contains 2 extra pacifiers.
4. Burp Cloth/Extra Blanket.
5. Feeding Supplies.
   • Bottles
   • Packets of formula (premeasure your own to save money over pre-packaged serving sizes)
   • Bottled water
   • Bibs (disposable is handy)
6. First Aid / Medical.
   • Mini First Aid Kit (with band aids, anti-bacterial ointment or spray, gauze, cleanser wipes, etc.)
   • Medications.  Ask your pharmacy for an extra label and small bottle for your child’s medications. Even if you normally administer medications at home, having a back up supply is so  helpful “just in case”.

Beyond the Diaper Bag Basics

1. Leashes. I’ve gotta confess, I Love Leashes! We used the lightweight harness type with dog leashes that extend/retract. These were small enough to be able to keep in our diaper bag so we had them when we needed them. Keeping kids safe should always be a priority.
2. Entertainment.  One or more gallon sized zipper plastic bags filled with distraction.
   • books
   • crayons or markers / paper tablet / stickers
   • duplos / legos
   • electronics (music, video, etc.)
   • small car
   • bubbles
3. Snacks.  One or more small hard plastic containers (Tupperware) with quick snacks.
   • crackers
   • cereal or cereal bars
   • cookies
   • mini fruit cups
4. Adult Needs.  One zipper bag with adult essentials.
   • spare keys
   • tissues
   • extra cash

Now, it’s been a while since I hauled around a twin diaper bag, but I do still often bring a backpack crammed full of some of these same items. You never know when you’ll have an unexpected need when you’re out and about.   I know there are many more fantastic tricks “out there” — because there are so many creative parents “out there”.  Please leave a comment and share your special tip or trick.

Copyright 2010 Kathryn Whiteley — TwinParenthood.com

Bedtime challenges exist for many families, but when you add twins, triplets, or more into the equation, things can get out of hand rather quickly. Many children begin to resist bedtime as they move into the toddler years. With twins sharing a bedroom, Twin Escalation Syndrome (TES) begins to play a role. Twin Escalation Syndrome is the tendency for twins to feed upon each other’s behaviors, and to escalate the behaviors in reaction to each other. At bedtime, this often results in extended talking, or turns “bedtime” into “playtime”.

The Wake Up Light System solves sleep problems

The “Wake Up Light” (or “Morning Light”) is a light that comes on when it is time to get up in the morning. You hook up a night-light on a timer. When it is sleep time, the light is OFF… when it is okay to get up, the light comes on. Please read TwinParenthood.com’s article on the basics of the Wake Up Light System to get an understanding of this useful sleep tool and how to use Sleep Rules with the light and timer.  In this article, Part 2 of our series on the “Wake Up Light System, we’ll discuss how to use the light and timer to promote good sleep behaviors at bedtime.

Dealing with Playtime at Bedtime

Set the timer so that the light is on for 5-10 minutes at bedtime after you leave the room.  Tell your twins they can talk/sing/read/use the bathroom during that time, but when the light goes out… they must lay down, close their eyes, be still and be quiet.  As noted in part one of our Wake Up System articles, it is important to review these Sleep Rules every night at bedtime.

If they violate the sleep rules, don’t get angry. Just calmly say “It’s sleep time.” and take them back to their bed and lay them down. If you need to, you can repeat the sleep rules in a monotone whisper: “the light is off: lay down, close eyes, be still, be quiet”. Do not linger, do not give kisses, etc. just lay them in bed then leave the room. Do this as many times as you need to do it — do not waver, do not get angry… just matter of fact and boring.

If you have some bad habits to break, it might take 3-4 days of this “matter of fact” putting them back in bed and repeating the sleep rules. After a few days they will get bored, but you might have to repeat this action many, many times during the training period. Don’t get discouraged. If you are consistent and really don’t give them any power by responding in a different way, talking with them, pleading with them, or scolding them, they will get bored and will stop violating the sleep rules.

The Wake Up Light System has been a blessing in our household, and as I’ve shared the system with other families of multiples, I’ve heard nothing but positive feedback.  Give the system a try and see how it works in your house!

Copyright 2010 Kathryn Whiteley — TwinParenthood.com

Related Articles:

• More than Double Trouble: Twin Escalation Syndrom and Twin Behavior
• The “Wake Up Light System” helps to solve many sleep issues
• How to prevent twins from calling you in the night

It seems that sleep issues plague all parents at some time or another.

But for parents of twins, triplets, or higher order multiples, it seems like issues with sleep are magnified because every sleeping moment is so precious.  While there is no “magic bullet” to solve all sleep problems, the wake up light system (or “morning light” system) comes pretty darn close to it.

The wake up light is simply a light plugged into a timer. Place the wake up light where your twins can see it from their cribs or beds.

Crucial to the success of the wake up light system, is the consistent application and enforcement of the sleep rules. Make a poster with your sleep rules and place it on the wall near the wake up light. You can include a simple drawing of a child in bed with their eyes closed.

When you first introduce the light and the sleep rules, do it at a time OTHER than bed time or nap time. You can read and point to each word, you can point to the drawing of the sleeping child, or you can pantomime the actions as well as acting out the opposite of each. This is the one and only time you would ever act out the opposite of the desired actions.  This is done just so they understand, and you don’t want them to make a game of doing the opposite of the sleep rules. Talk about the wake up light and point to it.  Turn the light on to show what it looks like and explain, “when it comes on, you can get up!”.  Then, turn the light off and review the sleep rules again.

Review the sleep rules every night at bed time.

If they violate the sleep rules, don’t get angry. Just calmly say “It’s sleep time.” and take them back to their bed and lay them down. If you need to, you can repeat the sleep rules in a monotone whisper: “the light is off: lay down, close eyes, be still, be quiet”. Do not linger, do not give kisses, etc. just lay them in bed then leave the room. Do this as many times as you need to do it — do not waver, do not get angry… just matter of fact and boring.

If there are some bad habits to be broken, it might take 3-4 days of this “matter of fact” putting them back in bed and repeating the sleep rules. After a few days they will get bored, but you might have to be prepared to repeat this action many, many times over in a night/morning during the training period. Don’t get discouraged. If you are consistent and really don’t give them any power by responding in a different way, talking with them, pleading with them, scolding them, they will get bored and will stop violating the sleep rules.

To help your twins feel successful in the beginning, you can set the light to come on earlier than your ultimate desired wake up time — early enough that you KNOW they will still be asleep. That way, when they wake up, the light will be on and they can start their day right away. The first few days you can plan to get up early and be ready to greet them with “The light is on, Hooray! Good job!”. You can then move the wake up time gradually back to the actual time you want them to wake up. Depending how far you need to move their wake up time, you’ll want to go in 5-15 minute increments and leave it at each setting for 2-3 days.

Be very animated about all successes (especially in the first several months). Anytime they get up after the wake up light has come on, make a big deal out of it.  “Good Job! Look! The Light is on!  Time to get up! Good Morning!”.  Anytime they get up when the light is not on, be very monotone and boring, “Look. The light is not on. Sleep Time.” 

What age is appropriate to start using the wake-up light?

Babies as young as 7 – 8 months can use a wake up light. The nice thing about starting at a very young age is that the wake up light quickly becomes a natural part of their life — almost like the sun rising.  A young baby can sometimes take longer to get the hang of the light — but when you are consistent and continue to direct their attention to the light, they will eventually get it.

Of course, it is always important to assess the reason for any violations of the sleep rules. If there is a need that must be taken care of, do so as quickly and quietly as possible. Do not talk unless critically needed.  As the adult, it is up to you to judge if a violation of the rules is reasonable under the circumstances.  If it is not reasonable, do not argue, discuss, or explain — just revert back to the monotone,  “The light is not on. Sleep Time.”   If they are old enough for discussion, there will be time during daylight hours to discuss why the violation was not okay.

Toddlers do very well with a wake up light system, but older children can still benefit from it as well.  Sometimes, especially in the winter, it is hard to tell if it is time to get up in the morning because it might still be dark at the “normal” wake up time for your child.  The wake up light can help a child who wakes in the night wondering if it is time to get up.  If the light is off, it is still sleep time.

Hopefully this introduction to the wake up light system has given you a good overview. The wake up light system solves many different kinds of sleep and bedtime issues, and we’ll get into specific scenarios in future articles.  In the next article in this series, we’ll talk about how the wake up light can help with children that think that bedtime means playtime.

Read More on sleep and TwinParenthood’s Wake Up Light System:

• When bedtime means playtime – The Wake Up Light System to the Rescue!
• How to prevent twins from calling for you in the night
• When did your twins sleep through the night?
• How to survive daylight savings time changes with twins

Copyright 2010 Kathryn Whiteley — TwinParenthood.com

Although parents of twins, triplets, or more are often “maxed out”, it is still important to make sure you are doing little things to help boost your baby’s intelligence.  It is not difficult, and these little things can help to ensure your children grow to be inquisitive with a desire to learn.

Scientists continue to conduct research into human intelligence. While it is true that genetics play an important role, environmental experiences early in life are a significant factor in how much of that genetic potential is reached. Exposing your twins, triplets, or higher order multiples to an enriched environment can exercise brain synapses — leading to forming more and stronger brain connections.  I’m not a scientist, but I find this field of study fascinating, and I did strive for an enriched environment for my twins. My efforts were rewarded with bright, intelligent kids with a curiosity for life. 

Things you can do to enrich your baby’s environment

1. Talk. The number one thing you can do to maximize baby intelligence is talk. How easy is that? Talk about everything. Talk about changing your baby’s diaper. Talk about the weather. Talk about being lonely – or having visitors.  Talk about the changing seasons.  Just talk.  At first, it might feel strange talking to these little infants that couldn’t possibly understand a word you are saying. But if you keep up a running narrative about what you are doing, pretty soon it becomes a habit and is easy to do. And, sorry folks, the television does not count as talking to your baby. If you do none of the other things in this list – talk.

    

   Info:B. Hart and T.R. Risley studied the amount of words spoken in homes and correlated it to IQ and academic performance through fifth grade. Based on their researched, they concluded, “The most important aspect of children’s language experience is its amount.” Learn more about their research from their book, Meaningful differences in the Everyday Experience of Young Children.

    

2. Count. Since you are already talking to your babies about everything you do, it is easy to begin counting everything you do as part of your narrative. Count the stuffies as you put them away, count the dishes and the cups, count the buttons as you dress your twins, triplets, or more. Count forwards, count backward. Just count.

    

   Tip:As your twins, triplets, or more grow into toddlers and sharing becomes an issue, ask them to count to share a toy. “Count to 10 then it will be your turn.” At first you will do the counting, but ask them to join with you. “Count with me… one… two… three…” Count very slowly so they can keep up.

 

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-iRz7X14h4]

 

3. Sort and Group. Now, you are already talking and counting, so start grouping.  Sort the toys by color, resort them by size. Count them in their groups. Talk about differences in size – “Oh, there is a big truck! Look at it next to that tiny little car!”

   TIP: Introduce the concept of ‘value’ at an early age by asking them to group 5 small toys and then trading that for 1 bigger toy. You can do this with a pretend store. When you are ready to purge some baby toys, buy a couple of toddler toys and then ask them to find 5 baby toys to trade in for a “big boy toy”.

 

4. Breastfeed (or not). There is conflicting information about the benefit to intelligence of breastfeeding.  If you can, then breastfeed. If you are not able to, then pump and bottle feed. And if you are not able to pump, don’t worry that you are not doing your best for your babies. You are… whether you breastfeed or bottle feed, just be sure to cuddle, love, stroke her head, gaze into her eyes, and talk.
5. Music. Turn off the tv and play Mozart.  Many studies have shown a correlation between listening or learning to play music and performance of math tasks.
6. Walk. Get outside and walk with your babies everyday if you can. Expose them to the world around you. If the weather limits you, do your best to make it happen when possible. And when you are stuck indoors, find some active play and exercises you can do together.

No matter how tired you are, doing these things will help boost your twins’ intelligence, help them grow to be inquisitive with a desire to learn, and will have an added benefit for you.  Doing these things will help lift your mood. And when you’re sleep deprived from taking care of twins or more, these little lifts are huge. Give it a try.

Copyright 2009 – TwinParenthood.com / Kathryn Whiteley

As with singletons, it is normal for twins, triplets or more to go through phases where they are frightened of the dark, or wake up in the night upset, crying, afraid, or in “need” of something from you.  But since it is often associated with developmental stages, it can be more difficult for parents of multiples because often times more than one child is struggling in the night at the same time.  Sometimes one upset child will wake up another, making things more difficult and complicated to resolve.

Babies and toddlers understand our words more than we think sometimes. Talking about it always helps. Several things helped in our house:

1. There is a great book, titled “Owl Babies” by Martin Waddell.
   It’s about baby owls that awaken in the night and their mother is gone. They worry about what will happen to her and then her return reassures them. You can read the book (over and over and over and over) and talk about how it is normal for mommies (and daddies) to not be there when they wake up in the night.
2. The “wake up light”. This is a light that comes on when it is time to get up in the morning. You hook up a night-light on a timer. When it is sleep time, the light is OFF… when it is okay to get up, the light comes on. How does this help? In the middle of the night, when they awaken and cry, you can come into their room.. point at the light and say in a reassuring voice, “the wake up light is not on, time for sleep”.  Details on how to implement this system are available in our article, “The wake up light system helps to solve many sleep issues.”
3. The bedtime talk.  At bedtime, we always talk about what to do if they wake up in the night. “Think about why you woke up… are you cold? pull up the blankets (practice)… are you hot? take off a blanket (practice)… do you wonder if it is morning yet? check the wake up light (practice – point to the light)… snuggle into your bed, close your eyes, snuggle up with lovey, etc.” Although this conversation is about what happens in the middle of the night, it is reassuring and helps with the bedtime routine, too. Have this conversation every night — for months.
4. Twin-to-twin comfort. Are the beds close together? Can the kids touch each other? After the three above things were in place, one night we said, “Tonight we’re going to go out and you’re going to go to sleep with your lovey. Reach over and hold hands with sister / brother. Isn’t that nice? You’ll be together just like the owl babies!”
5. Consistent bedtime routine. Every night we’d use the exact same words as the last things we’d say when leaving the room. This routine was reassuring… they knew what was going to happen: mom and dad would go out and not come back until the morning — when the wake up light comes on. Be sure you are there when the morning light comes on. Say something like “Night-night, sweet dreams, I love you, see you when the wake up light comes on!” all very sing-song. And then, don’t get pulled back in. Make sure you have done EVERYTHING before you say these words. If you go back, it undermines the routine and they learn “delays” as they get older… “wait! I need a drink!”… “wait! I need a kiss!” Decide what things you will do for them each night. Then make sure you do all of them… try to do it in the same order each night. If you decide you are going to add something to the routine, add it at the beginning — not as the last thing. Adding it at the front end keeps the rhythm and shouldn’t trigger the idea that more things can be added at the end.

I hope these ideas spark some ideas that might help at your house.  What else has worked for you? Please leave a comment — help out another struggling parent.~

Copyright 2009 – TwinParenthood.com / Kathryn Whiteley

* I was not compensated for the mention of this book. It is a personal recommendation only.

Daylight Savings Time impacts twin babies’ schedules

As yet another “Daylight Savings Time” change approaches, I am reminded what a nightmare it can be for families with young twins, triplets, or more.  My kids were very early risers.  No matter what time we put them to bed, they would get up extremely early. Toss in a time change and we were in trouble. So, I’ve put together some tips as you move towards a time change, that can help ease the transition.

1. A week before the time change, begin putting your babies to bed 15 minutes earlier each night (or later depending which direction the time change is moving). 
2. If you do not already use a “wake up” light, begin using one.  A “wake up” light is simply a night-light that you have plugged into a timer. Except, this night-light is off all night.  When it is the desired wake up time, the light comes on.  Place the light up high so that the babies can see the light from their cribs or beds.  Choose a night-light that is not so bright that it will wake the babies if they are sleeping.  The idea of the “wake up” light is to train your child that when the light is off, it is time for sleep. When it is on, it is okay to get up (or to call for Mommy or Daddy).   Check out our article series on the “wake up” light (aka the “morning light”).  These timers can be purchased at home improvement stores.
3. Depending where you live, you might want to invest in black out shades. These shades are marvelous.  Babies naturally begin to wake when the room lightens in the morning.  These shades block the light out so babies can continue to sleep.  JC Penny is a good source for ordering (no, I have not been compensated for listing them as a resource).

Taking these steps will help your twins, triplets, or higher order multiples to adjust to the new time.  But, even without using any gradual methods, most babies will adjust within a couple of days when making a time change “cold turkey”.

Copyright 2009 – twinParenthood.com / Kathryn Whiteley

“Stop. STOP. STOP!” Stopping bad, or I should say, unacceptable behaviors in toddler twins, triplets, or higher order multiples can be a challenge.

We’re not talking about the minor annoyances, here. We’re talking about those behaviors that must stop — biting, hitting, screaming, spitting, you name it.  These are the behaviors that cannot, must not, continue. These problems exist with singletons too, but with multiples it seems to be magnified.

I still remember the day my toddler son, Brenden, bit his brother on the arm. There was a distinct set of teeth marks on Trevin’s little arm. The howling cries brought me tearing into the living room, and I was so shocked to see that he had drawn blood. These are moments when you can either shake your child (please don’t), or have a plan ready to quickly, unemotionally, deal with it so (hopefully) it won’t ever happen again. Fortunately, I  had a plan.

A triplet mom friend had passed along a little “cure” to me — which I have to say is fabulous! It works like a charm.  When she first told me about this cure, she talked about how her kids had been going through a screaming stage. They would scream about anything, long, loud, blood curdling screams.  The solution? “Screaming Medicine”.  A drop of white vinegar onto the tongue of the offender with the sad exclamation, “Bummer! You are “insert behavior here” again. Now you’ll need some of the “insert behavior here” medicine to stop that. So sad.”

I’m telling you, it works! I quickly soothed my crying son, and grabbed the magic bottle. Turning to Brenden, I expressed my empathy (“Bummer, Brenden. You’ve hurt Trevin. You need some biting medicine to stop that so it won’t happen again. So sad.”) I quickly put a single drop on Brenden’s tongue. His eyes got very big and he started to cry. I felt like a big meanie… but only for a moment. I realized that this harmless little bitter drop was so much better than yelling, spanking, or more biting.

Over the years, we have used (and still occasionally do use) the following types of “STOP” medicine (all of which are actually vinegar, of course): biting, hitting, screaming, and spitting.  Not sure what is next, but the little bottle is waiting on the shelf, at the ready.

This solution shouldn’t be used for minor behaviors you wish to stop. Children need to learn techniques for controlling their own behavior and rely on your help to teach them how to do that. STOP medicine is for the behaviors that need to stop immediately because there is a safety concern.

Now, all I have to say is, “Bummer! You are “insert behavior here” again!” and they hang their heads, walking slowly to the bathroom sink.  They lean over the sink where I drop a single drop of the vinegar onto their tongue. The best part is the sound they make after it hits their tongue. “Pah! Pah! Pah!” as they grab for the paper cups so they can rinse out their mouth. 

The taste is bitter and very unpleasant. The consequences are logical.  Kids these days are used to receiving medicine for various problems. And best of all, a single drop of vinegar is not at all harmful.

Give it a try, and see how fast you are able to stop those unacceptable toddler behaviors. Oh, did I mention that my “toddlers” are now 8 and 6?  The good news is that these nasty behaviors only crop up once in a while — as long as they know the nasty consequences. As they’ve gotten older, we have added a “make up” chore as well. So, a drop of “STOP” and a make-up chore for the victim. And that is my little STOP toolkit.

What’s in your “STOP” toolkit? Please leave a comment and share with the rest of us worn-out, tired, and fed-up referees.

Copyright 2009 Kathryn Whiteley – http://twinParenthood.com

I was getting desperate. Preschool was starting in a couple of months, and my three and a half year old twin boys HAD to be potty trained or they couldn’t start. The main problem in getting them toilet trained was that we just didn’t have the energy to devote to it. Our twin girls were in their first year and had consumed every ounce of it.

But now, it was down to the wire, and I could put it off no longer. As per my usual style, I read everything written on the subject. I wondered if the technique for training multiples needed to be different than for toilet training a singleton. And when it came down to choosing my method, I ended up doing my own thing anyway. I took bits and pieces of things I’d read and reworked them to fit our family and our needs. Just as you should do, too.

The thing that most amazed me was that my girls were only about 12 months old, and unintentionally, they began to potty train, too! By 14 months old, they were completely toilet trained (with no accidents) and only used diapers at night. By eighteen months old, they were off the night diapers, too. The thing is, if you enthusiastically model the behavior, I think you could potty train 20 kids at the same time. There is a kind of synergy that grows. In fact, if it is done correctly, I really think that potty training multiples can be easier than potty training a singleton. So whether you have twins, triplets, or more — give my method a try and see how it goes for you.

The technique is pretty simple. I figured out a schedule of events for going to the bathroom and washing hands. I enthusiastically modeled the behavior. I then turned to the kids and asked, “Who’s next?” The timing for heading to the potty were natural events in their day that could be triggers the kids would be able to key into later by themselves (not based on a clock).

Our events were:

• Always upon rising (in the morning / after nap. Do this first thing, even if they wear a diaper for sleep)
• before snack (morning / afternoon)
• before sleep (nap / bedtime)
• before meals
• always before leaving the house
• always upon arriving home

Before we started, we talked about them getting to be old enough to use the toilet and to wear “big boy” and “big girl” underpants. We went on a special shopping trip where they picked out their new underpants, and we talked about how exciting it will be for them.

Then, I continued to really talk it up and model the behavior, and was VERY animated about it. “Oh! it’s snack time! I’ve got to go to potty!”, then I’d run (literally) in and let all four of the kids watch me use the toilet and wash my hands. (You’ve gotta give up on your privacy for a while!) Then I’d turn to them and say, “Who’s next?”

Pretty soon I’d only have to say, “Oh! it’s snack time!” and all four kids would run down the hall to the bathroom. Since there were four of them, we had them line up out in the hall to wait their turn. If there was any pushing, fighting, or crying that child went to the back of the line.

It’s kind of funny now… they are 8 and 6 and still, when I say, “Dinner time!” you can hear a trampling of footsteps as they all stampede to the bathroom. Then they line up outside the door to take their turn washing hands. They no longer use each of the events as triggers, but the hand washing at each of the events pretty much stuck.

If you have other regularly occurring events at your house, you can add those in — or create events as needed. The trick is that these events should trigger the habit of going to the bathroom. That way, later on when they ARE trained… you don’t have to spend all your time reminding them to go to the bathroom. The events trigger it.

Another critical survival tactic for us was having a potty chair in the back of the van. Even though we had them use the potty before we left the house, we still had our emergencies. The portable potty was a lifesaver more than a few times.
 
 

 
 
Toilet training is one of those things where a lot of different styles can be successful. You may need to consider other approaches that might be a better fit for your family and your kids.

One twin mom highly recommends Jan Faull’s approach to potty training (Mommy! I have to go Potty! A Parent’s Guide to Toilet Training). Archana B. of Seattle says, “I have a schedule for my kids to go “practice with them” so we end up going almost every 1 hour to 1.5 hours. I remind them by using these words (important words here) – ‘its time to go practice our potty… its your job to go potty, I am here to help, one day you will go potty all by yourself.’ This way you are giving them the onus for taking the responsibility to go potty and that they can count on you for help. Its about setting expectation too.

The other thing that I did which I did not even consider doing till Jan mentioned was getting rid of our changing table completely. Basically we now clean them, and diaper them for the night standing up. We got flushable wipes for the poop and do all the cleaning in the bathroom. We told them they are grown out the table and now big enough to use the potty. Its subtle, but made a big difference for the kids. We used to use the changing table as our “bonding” area and now that we have taken it away, we still cuddle and play but not while they are being diapered/pull up for naps etc..”

As with anything parenting, there are many different approaches and methods. If something here doesn’t quite click with you, there are many many books devoted to the subject available at your public library or book store. Whatever method you decide to try, the key is patience and consistently — as it always seems to be in parenting.