“Stop. STOP. STOP!” Stopping bad, or I should say, unacceptable behaviors in toddler twins, triplets, or higher order multiples can be a challenge.
We’re not talking about the minor annoyances, here. We’re talking about those behaviors that must stop — biting, hitting, screaming, spitting, you name it. These are the behaviors that cannot, must not, continue. These problems exist with singletons too, but with multiples it seems to be magnified.
I still remember the day my toddler son, Brenden, bit his brother on the arm. There was a distinct set of teeth marks on Trevin’s little arm. The howling cries brought me tearing into the living room, and I was so shocked to see that he had drawn blood. These are moments when you can either shake your child (please don’t), or have a plan ready to quickly, unemotionally, deal with it so (hopefully) it won’t ever happen again. Fortunately, I had a plan.
A triplet mom friend had passed along a little “cure” to me — which I have to say is fabulous! It works like a charm. When she first told me about this cure, she talked about how her kids had been going through a screaming stage. They would scream about anything, long, loud, blood curdling screams. The solution? “Screaming Medicine”. A drop of white vinegar onto the tongue of the offender with the sad exclamation, “Bummer! You are “insert behavior here” again. Now you’ll need some of the “insert behavior here” medicine to stop that. So sad.”
I’m telling you, it works! I quickly soothed my crying son, and grabbed the magic bottle. Turning to Brenden, I expressed my empathy (“Bummer, Brenden. You’ve hurt Trevin. You need some biting medicine to stop that so it won’t happen again. So sad.”) I quickly put a single drop on Brenden’s tongue. His eyes got very big and he started to cry. I felt like a big meanie… but only for a moment. I realized that this harmless little bitter drop was so much better than yelling, spanking, or more biting.
Over the years, we have used (and still occasionally do use) the following types of “STOP” medicine (all of which are actually vinegar, of course): biting, hitting, screaming, and spitting. Not sure what is next, but the little bottle is waiting on the shelf, at the ready.
| Tip: If you have infant bottles of liquid vitamins, save the dispenser to re-use as your “STOP” medicine bottle. The eye-dropper dispenser is wonderful for depositing a single drop of vinegar on your child’s tongue. |
This solution shouldn’t be used for minor behaviors you wish to stop. Children need to learn techniques for controlling their own behavior and rely on your help to teach them how to do that. STOP medicine is for the behaviors that need to stop immediately because there is a safety concern.
Now, all I have to say is, “Bummer! You are “insert behavior here” again!” and they hang their heads, walking slowly to the bathroom sink. They lean over the sink where I drop a single drop of the vinegar onto their tongue. The best part is the sound they make after it hits their tongue. “Pah! Pah! Pah!” as they grab for the paper cups so they can rinse out their mouth.
The taste is bitter and very unpleasant. The consequences are logical. Kids these days are used to receiving medicine for various problems. And best of all, a single drop of vinegar is not at all harmful.
Give it a try, and see how fast you are able to stop those unacceptable toddler behaviors. Oh, did I mention that my “toddlers” are now 8 and 6? The good news is that these nasty behaviors only crop up once in a while — as long as they know the nasty consequences. As they’ve gotten older, we have added a “make up” chore as well. So, a drop of “STOP” and a make-up chore for the victim. And that is my little STOP toolkit.
What’s in your “STOP” toolkit? Please leave a comment and share with the rest of us worn-out, tired, and fed-up referees.
