Whether you are buying gifts for twins or super-twins (triplets, or higher order multiples) or buying gifts to be given from twins to someone else, questions abound about twins and gifting. Parents of twins pretty quickly determine their own twin gifting philosophy, and it is often times those that are not in the immediate family that struggle with what to do. Those outside the family should not be shy about asking the parents for advice to understand the family’s general twin gifting philosophy.
Gifts for twins
Many questions arise when buying gifts for twins.
How can we make sure it is fair?
How can we make sure they don’t fight over the gifts?
My child is friends with only one of the twins, are we expected to give gifts to both children?
Same / Same
Probably the easiest (and most common) philosophy when buying gifts for twins is to simply buy the exact same gift for each twin. This philosophy minimizes the fighting over the object as well as minimizing the comparison in value between different gifts. On the downside, buying 2 (or more) of the same thing sometimes feels wasteful. Gift givers often find themselves asking, “if we bought different gifts and they shared, they would get twice as many things.”
A variation on this philosophy is to buy two of the same thing in a slightly different pattern, color, or style. Twin parents often associate a specific color with each twin when they are young, and not surprisingly, these colors often evolve into the child’s favorite color as they get a little bit older.
Equal Value
Many twin parents feel very strongly that, as individuals, twins should be given individual gifts. This philosophy supports the individualism of twins and holds that each child should be treated separately — as they would be if they were born on different days.
Often the gift givers strive to ensure the gifts are of the same perceived value. This can provide more variety, and, if the twins are good at sharing, can double the number of unique gifts received by the twins. The critical point here is that “same perceived value” part. As can be expected, different gifts, even when the exact same dollar amount in purchase, can sometimes be perceived to be of different value by the receivers.
One Big Gift to Share
The third philosophy is to buy one larger gift that the children will share. This allows the buyer to pool the money they would have spent on individual gifts to buy a gift that might have been out of their price range had then been buying separate gifts. This method works really well for kids that share really well.
A Gift for just One
A very common question among those invited to a twins party is asked when the child invited is friends with just one of the twins. Is that child expected to buy a gift for both twins? Again, there is no “right” answer. But many parents of twins will say, “no”. You are not expected to buy a gift for both twins, when your child is a friend of only one of the twins. Understandably, it gets a bit stickier when your child is a good friend of one of the twins and more of a casual friend with the other. Each family will have to decide how they want to handle this. Just remember, there isn’t a “right” answer or expected norm. So, whatever you decide to do, you won’t be breaking the unwritten “twin code”.
Gifts from Twins
If you are a parent of twins (triplets, or more), and are buying gifts to be given from your twins to another child, many of the same questions exist, but in reverse. Should I buy one large give from both of my twins? or smaller individual gifts from each twin? Again, parents tend to choose the philosophy with which they are most comfortable. Interestingly, many parents feel very strongly about their particular philosophy, although clearly this is a matter of opinion and we hope by laying out the options we can help you weigh the considerations to make the decision that is right for you and your family.
Two Individual Gifts
Supporting the individualism of the twins, often twin parents feel it is important for their twins to each give their own gift. Another aspect of this philosophy holds that every other child invited to the party will be bringing their own gifts, and it should be no different for twins.
One Big Gift
Twin parents sometimes enjoy pooling the money they would have spent on buying individual gifts for each of their twins to give, into a more expensive item than they would have otherwise been able to afford to give. Along with this method, parents sometimes will have their twins each pick out small accessory items to go with the main item — so that they can feel more connected to the gift.
In addition to questions about how many gifts — there are many questions around invitations to parties for twins, and from twins. But that is a subject for another day.
Hopefully you weren’t expecting us to tell you the right thing to do — you’ll have to make up your own mind about that. In all the years of fielding questions from parents of twins and from those without twins, we have heard many opinions — and there doesn’t really seem to be an overall consensus about what is the “right” way to do it. You’re on your own on that one.
So… please leave us a comment to let us know your philosophy about gift giving and twins. What is your “right” way?
The term ”twiblings” isn’t exactly new, with popular usage defining it as “two under two”, or that is, two siblings being born within two years of each other. Under this definition, the world is full of “twiblings”. But I recently read an article in the NYTimes by Melanie Thernstrom, “Meet the Twiblings“, about a pretty unique family situation. These siblings were born 5 days apart and did not share a womb. So, no, they are not twins, and Ms. Thernstrom refers to her children as “twiblings“.
Not twins, but they might as well be. These kids will be raised together at the same time, in one family. To me, that is the real world definition of a “twin“. I know this opinion will cause controversy, but I really don’t care how they were conceived. I also don’t really care that they were carried in two different wombs. I know… technically they are not twins. But this family will experience typical twin parenthood issues: feeding two babies at once, twin escalation syndrome, two kids entering school at the same time — and the decisions about sharing a classroom. The list of twin parenthood issues goes on, and this family will face many of these joys and struggles.
I think it is more than okay to want to have twins and to plan to have “twins” in this unique way. I love how Melanie Thernstrom refers to the egg donor as “the Fairy Goddonor” – now that is a term I just might have to adopt myself! And, I have to confess I was pretty surprised at the venom I have seen expressed towards this couple from a few twin parents since sharing this article. As though only “naturally conceived” twins are acceptable and all others are some kind of second rate citizens. Having conceived one of my sets of twins only with the help of our own “Fairy Goddonor“, and one of my sets of twins “naturally“, I think I am in a unique position to announce with 100% conviction that my second set of twins are not any more “natural” than my first set of twins.
As to Michael and Melanie’s method of obtaining their “twins” — er, “twiblings“, I must say, “Good for them! You Go, Twin Parents! You Go!”
TwinParenthood is pleased to turn over this space today to guest contributor Cori (of Cori’s Big Mouth) to bring us a nanny’s guide to finding the perfect twins (or more) nanny. Cori is currently a nanny to triplets, and a previous nanny to many sets of multiples including quadruplets & quintuplets. We hope you will enjoy this valuable insight into finding the right twins nanny, from a great multiples nanny, Cori.
Picking the Right Twins Nanny for Your Family
One of the first things, that expectant parents think of – well after that initial shock of finding out you’re expecting multiples has worn off – is how are we going to do this?
Is mom going to work? Stay home? Can we do this alone? Daycare? Nanny? There are so many options to pick from, but what’s right for your family?
Hi! My name is Cori and I am a nanny who has personally known Kathryn for many years through her local twins group. I was excited and honored when Kat asked me to write a guest-post for TwinParenthood on my experience as a nanny. I have spent the last 11 years as a babysitter and/or nanny for many families of multiples, including quadruplets & quintuplets. I’ve spent the last 3.5 years with a family who has BBG triplets.
What Type of Nanny is Right for You?
That’s the first thing you need to ask yourself. Are you looking for a post-partum nanny to help when you bring home new babies? Or are you planning on going back to work and will need full-time long term childcare for your children? Or, maybe you just want help a few hours a day to get things done or take a nap? Well, you’re in luck; you can find help for any of those types of childcare needs.
Mothers Helper: A mother’s helper is a great option if you just need a few hours a day a couple times a week. If you want to just to get stuff done around the house or nap, a 12-year-old girl is the perfect person. They really want to babysit but aren’t quite old enough to be left alone, plus they’re cheaper. If you want to be able to leave the house then I recommend finding a high school student to come over a couple afternoons a week.
Post-Partum Nanny: Is hired to help you the first few weeks to months after your babies come home. They support you in caring for your babies, give you tips, and of course give you rest. They aren’t long term, though. They last a short time, and then move on to another family.
Nanny: Is a person who comes to your home and cares for your children. They will follow your instructions, ways of doing things, etc. Your children get to stay in their own environment. Nannies tend to work on a 1-year contract, with a hope that she’ll be a great fit and will stay for many years.
When to find a Nanny?
Early In Your Twin Pregnancy
If you know early on in your pregnancy that you are going to need a nanny, I highly suggest you start researching and finding someone while you still have the time and energy. If you find a nanny you love, it’s nice for them to get to be a part of the remainder of your pregnancy. They get to know you, your spouse, other kids, etc. Plus, they can help you prepare for the pending arrival of your little ones. If your babies are born premature, they will probably spend time in the NICU – your nanny can also spend time with your babies in the NICU, getting to know them and their schedules, working with the nurses to learn to care for preemies along with you. Makes a much smoother transition when the babies come home and you go back to work.
I had this wonderful opportunity in this job I’m in now. I was hired when the mom was about 20 weeks along. I helped them get things ready for the triplets, gave tips and advice, and was right there with her, holding our breath that she would make it to the high risk pregnancy milestones. I then got to spend a lot of time with the babies while they were in the NICU, which was a really special experience.
After Delivery of your Twins
If you’ve already had your babies, or are going back to work when your kids are older, don’t panic there’s still hope for you. By now, you have an idea of what type of care your kids need and are in search to find the right person to fit the mold.
Where to Find Your Multiples Nanny?
Anybody (and I mean anybody) can be a nanny. Don’t get me wrong, there are great nannies out there, but keep in mind, it takes a special (and possibly crazy) nanny to take on a family with multiples. As you know multiples take a lot of work and a lot of multitasking. Many nannies aren’t comfortable and/or capable of handling the stress and extra work that comes with more than one baby. That’s fine, it doesn’t mean they’re not good nannies, they just aren’t the right nanny for you.
The best way to find a great nanny is through your local twins group, friends and family. Talk to other parents, get names and information. Once a great nanny is found, she is likely to be known by many families and passed from family to family. Word of mouth is the best way to find the right nanny for you.
How Do You Know this Nanny is Right?
Before Delivery
If you haven’t had your babies yet, and think you’ve found the right nanny get to know her. Befriend her. I’m not just talking about an interview; I’m talking getting to know her as a person. Invite her over for dinner. My jobs that I have had a genuine friendship with my employers have been the best and longest lasting. Think of your nanny has an extension of your family. You’re going to be spending a lot of time with her, so you really need to like her as a person, and not just as a childcare provider. You’ll know quickly if she’s the right choice for you.
After Delivery
It’s okay to have a trial period. Hire the nanny on a short term basis, for a week or two. That will give you time get to know each other and see how she interacts with your children and if she meets the expectations you have. You’ll know quickly, if she’s the right nanny. If the trial period passes and you’re happy, hire her for a long term position. If the fit wasn’t quite right, that’s okay; you can try again and aren’t committed to one person. Don’t settle for a certain nanny; try until you find the right one.
So there you have it – A Nanny’s Guide to find the perfect twin nanny. I think the most important thing to remember is don’t settle for a certain nanny, the perfect one is out there. Good luck in your search.
Coming up with Halloween costumes for twins and multiples can be a lot of fun. There are so many possibilities, because so many great things come in twos. Whether you purchase a costume, or make it yourself, the possibilities are endless. It is also fun to do a whole family theme, where mom & dad get in on the action, too. Check out some of these great ideas to get you started, then let your imagination soar!
Classic Twin Costume Themes:
Thing 1 & Thing 2
2 peas in a pod
Yin & Yang
Candy (M&M’s, Hershey’s Kisses…)
Monkey See Monkey Do
Hear no evil, See no evil, Speak no evil Monkeys
Doublemint twins
Double-Bubble gum
Mr. And Mrs. Potatohead
Raggedy Ann and Andy
Sun & Moon (& Stars)
Playing Cards
Grapes
Crayons
Angel & Devil
Pair of Dice
Salt & Pepper
Samurai & Ninja
Dalmatian & Fire Fighter
Cheerleader & Football Player
Ketchup & Mustard
Hamburger & Fries
Milk & Cookies
Peanuts (Snoopy, Woodstock, Charlie Brown…)
Farm Animals & Farmer (cows, horses, pigs…)
Cowboy & Pony
Puppy & Kitten
Butterfly & Caterpillar
Big Cat & Tamer (Lion, Tiger…)
Cat & Mouse
Bride & Groom
Mr. & Mrs. Potato Head
Bumble Bees (Honey Pot, Lady bug, Flower)
Good Witch / Bad Witch
Frankenstein & Bride
Knight & Princess
Tooth & Tooth Fairy
Mummy & Pharaoh
Spider & Bug
Shark & Fish
Frog & Bug
Lemon & Lime
Anthony & Cleopatra
Mac & Cheese
Tarzan & Jane
Cartoon Costume themes:
Tom & Jerry
Scooby-Doo (Scooby, Shaggy, Velma…)
Pokemon (Ash, Brocke, Pikachu…)
The Simpsons (Bart & Lisa, Marge & Homer…)
The Flintstones (Pebble & Bam-Bam…)
Curious George (George & Man in Yellow Hat)
Bob the Builder (Bob, Wendy…)
Arthur (Arthur, DW, Baxter…)
Dora the Explorer (Dora, Boots, Swiper, Diego, Jaguar…)
SpongeBob Squarepants
Backyardigans (Tyrone, Pablo, Uniqua…)
Powerpuff Girls (Blossom, Bubbles, & Buttercup)
Mario & Luigi
Handy Manny (Kelly)
Super Heroes (Superman, Batman, Iron Man, The Hulk, Captain America, Wonder Woman…)
Fairy Tales Costume Themes:
Goldilocks & the 3 bears (a great quads costume or mom can be Goldilocks)
Little Red Riding Hood and the Wolf
Peter Pan and Tinkerbell
Alice in Wonderland (Alice, the rabbit, the Cheshire Cat…)
The Cat in the Hat (Thing1 & Thing2, The Cat…)
Jack & Jill
The 3 Little Pigs & The Big Bad Wolf
Little Bo Peep (and sheep)
Peter Pan (Peter, Wendy, Tinkerbell, Captain Hook…)
3 Blind Mice
TV Show Costume Themes:
Barney & Baby Bop
Sesame Street (Elmo and Zoe; Bert & Ernie, Big Bird, Cookie Monster…)
Blues Clues (Blue and Magenta…)
Happy Days (Richie & Fonzie)
Movie Costume Themes:
Wizard of OZ (Dorothy, Scarecrow, Tin Man, Lion …)
Batman & Robin
Batman & Catwoman
Superman & Wonder Woman
Toy Story (Woody, Buzz, Jessie…)
Shrek (Shrek, Fiona, Donkey…)
Superman and Lois Lane
Star Wars (Darth Vader, Luke, Princess Leia, Jar-Jar, Yoda, R2D2, Chewbacca…)
Harry Potter (Harry, Hermione, Hedwig, Dumbledore…)
Disney Costume Themes:
Beauty & The Beast (Belle, The Beast, Teacups…)
The Little Mermaid (Ariel, Founder, Sebastian…)
Snow White (Snow White, Dwarfs, Evil Queen…)
Any Disney Princess & supporting characters
Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse
Donald Duck and Daisy Duck
Lady and the Tramp
Hannah Montana and Jackson or Oliver
Nemo and Dora (or…)
Phineas and Ferb (Perry, Dr. Doofenshmirtz)
Disney Princesses (Ariel, Snow White, Cinderella, Bella…)
Disney Fairies
Winnie the Pooh (Winnie, Piglet, Tigger, Eeyore…)
The Lion King (Simba, Nala, Timon, Pumbaa…)
Hope these lists get you started thinking about the endless possibilities for costumes for twins and multiples. Halloween is all about imagination. And, making costumes ”from scratch” is a lot of fun — and often creates the best memories. Tell us what we’ve missed. What creative costumes have you come up with for your twins?
Attempting a vaginal birth after cesarean (VBAC) is a safe and appropriate choice for most women — including those who are carrying twins, according to guidelines released this week by The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG). This is great news for women expecting twins. Previously, VBAC was not recommended for women carrying twins although there were no conclusive studies to suggest that twins posed a higher risk.
In fact, VBAC was often not recommended for many women, and the rate of C-sections in the United States had risen significantly over the past four decades. In the 1970′s, the C-section rate was about 5%, but by 2007, it was up at a whopping 31%. One reason for the increased rate of C-sections was due to insurers, doctors, and hospitals opting for a repeat C-section rather than attempting a trial of labor after cesarean (TOLAC).
TOLAC and VBAC do present some added risk. If uterine rupture occurs (between 0.5% and 0.9% of the time), it is an emergency situation that can cause serious harm to a mother and babies. For this reason, TOLAC and VBAC should only be undertaken in a hospital where an emergency C-section can be performed in the event of complications.
Patients and doctors will need to work together on a case by case basis to determine if TOLAC and VBAC are appropriate. New moms having twins should do their research and come prepared for a discussion with their OB/GYN about the possibility for VBAC with twins if that is their desire. Patients who encounter doctors that won’t even consider VBAC for a twin pregnancy should consider moving to another doctor. While there may be very valid reasons why a VBAC is not appropriate for your particular twin pregnancy, you should expect your doctor to cover those reasons with you in detail rather than rejecting the option out of hand.
These new guidelines will provide women expecting twins with more options than were readily available previously. And when you’re having twins — your options are often limited and out of your control. So bringing back options is always a good thing. And reducing the number of “automatic” C-sections is a good thing. Hopefully these guidelines will help to reduce the overall number of C-sections being performed in the United States.
One fun aspect of parenting twins is choosing twin baby names. Some parents agonize over the decision — while some have no trouble at all. There are several philosophies to choosing twin baby names (or, as we we like to call them “twinfants” names). But, you need not worry, no matter your philosophy, you’ll eventually settle on something that will be perfect for your little sweethearts.
How to Choose Baby Names for Twins
Family Names. Some parents of multiples will use the opportunity to honor those special to the family (family members, ancestors, friends). This is a great chance to do that as there are multiple children, and thus multiple names – so that you do not have to choose which family member to honor first.
Same Initials. Another option is to name the babies so that all the names in the twins, triplets, or higher order multiples ”set” begin with the same letter. Some examples: Aiden & Addison, Brandon & Bryon, and Jacob & Joshua. Thinking ahead, one pitfall to naming a set of multiples with the same initials is for labeling possessions such as clothing, sippy cups, etc. If they all have the same initials — you’ll have to do a bit more writing. But, this is a minor inconvenience and may not deter you if you like the idea or the sound of the names together.
Birth Order. Typically hospitals will assign a letter to your babies as they are born (A, B, C, etc.). Multiples parents have been known to stick with the letter assigned to each. Examples: A-Abigail, B-Brenden, C-Caleb, etc.
Sound Alike or Rhyming. Many sets of twins are named based on similar sounding names. Some popular examples: Jayden & Jordan, Ethan & Evan, and Taylor & Tyler, or rhyming names Zoe & Chloe. Parents need to be aware, though, of a danger with rhyming names. Outside of the immediate family, it can already be difficult to distinguish between identical twins. Having rhyming names can add to the difficulty and be frustrating to teachers and other significant players in your twins lives.
Meaningful Names. Twins are often named to reflect family values or are symbolic in some way to the family. Examples: Faith & Hope, Jacob & Joseph, Austin & Denver. Or, maybe you’ll want to choose names that have a similar or complimentary meaning in another ancient language. Examples: Duke & Dean (which both mean “leader” in French).
Complimentary or Harmonious. Sometimes we just like the way the names sound together. It is appealing the way the twins’ names roll off your tongue. For instance: Madison & Morgan, Olivia & Sophia, Ava & Emma.
Same Complexity. Twin names often sound better together when they have the same number of syllables. For example, Jessica & Samantha, and Tom & Jo.
Stand Alone. Probably the easiest method of all is to simply choose names that you like, and don’t worry about how they sound together. Some would even argue that this is the “best” way to do it because it promotes individuality.
Many resources can help with choosing names for your twins. Tons of books of baby names have been written over the years, and many baby related website have lists and pages of baby names. One such resource that I think is especially helpful is the Social Security Administration’s list of Popular Baby Names and Popular Names of Twins. These lists are updated annually, showing the most popular names for the prior year.
Try on names for a while. Write them out. Then, ask friends and family what they think. But, if you’re like me, maybe you want to keep the names a secret among your friends and family. If so, another great option is to ask for advice from online twins communities and/or twins support groups. Many great communities exist and typically, your friends and family are not members.
Finally, it is important to keep in mind that no matter what names you choose for your twins, triplets, or higher order multiples, there will always be those that think you should have chosen something else. Most people will be supportive, but there will be those that will be insistent in presenting their “perfect” names for your little ones. Take it all in, mull it over, and above all, just have fun finding your perfect names.
Bedtime challenges exist for many families, but when you add twins, triplets, or more into the equation, things can get out of hand rather quickly. Many children begin to resist bedtime as they move into the toddler years. With twins sharing a bedroom, Twin Escalation Syndrome (TES) begins to play a role. Twin Escalation Syndrome is the tendency for twins to feed upon each other’s behaviors, and to escalate the behaviors in reaction to each other. At bedtime, this often results in extended talking, or turns “bedtime” into “playtime”.
The Wake Up Light System solves sleep problems
The “Wake Up Light” (or “Morning Light”) is a light that comes on when it is time to get up in the morning. You hook up a night-light on a timer. When it is sleep time, the light is OFF… when it is okay to get up, the light comes on. Please read TwinParenthood.com’s article on the basics of the Wake Up Light System to get an understanding of this useful sleep tool and how to use Sleep Rules with the light and timer. In this article, Part 2 of our series on the “Wake Up Light System, we’ll discuss how to use the light and timer to promote good sleep behaviors at bedtime.
Tip:
Carefully choose a timer for your Wake Up Light System, to include a toggle on/off feature and to allow for multiple on/off timings.
Dealing with Playtime at Bedtime
Set the timer so that the light is on for 5-10 minutes at bedtime after you leave the room. Tell your twins they can talk/sing/read/use the bathroom during that time, but when the light goes out… they must lay down, close their eyes, be still and be quiet. As noted in part one of our Wake Up System articles, it is important to review these Sleep Rules every night at bedtime.
If they violate the sleep rules, don’t get angry. Just calmly say “It’s sleep time.” and take them back to their bed and lay them down. If you need to, you can repeat the sleep rules in a monotone whisper: “the light is off: lay down, close eyes, be still, be quiet”. Do not linger, do not give kisses, etc. just lay them in bed then leave the room. Do this as many times as you need to do it — do not waver, do not get angry… just matter of fact and boring.
If you have some bad habits to break, it might take 3-4 days of this “matter of fact” putting them back in bed and repeating the sleep rules. After a few days they will get bored, but you might have to repeat this action many, many times during the training period. Don’t get discouraged. If you are consistent and really don’t give them any power by responding in a different way, talking with them, pleading with them, or scolding them, they will get bored and will stop violating the sleep rules.
Warning:
If you do not consistently enforce the sleep rules, the system will not work. You cannot be “too tired” to go enforce the rules in your monotone, boring voice. Tell yourself that the investment NOW, will pay off with better sleep for everyone (the babies and you) in just a few short (although it may seem long!) days.
The Wake Up Light System has been a blessing in our household, and as I’ve shared the system with other families of multiples, I’ve heard nothing but positive feedback. Give the system a try and see how it works in your house!
It seems that sleep issues plague all parents at some time or another.
But for parents of twins, triplets, or higher order multiples, it seems like issues with sleep are magnified because every sleeping moment is so precious. While there is no “magic bullet” to solve all sleep problems, the wake up light system (or “morning light” system) comes pretty darn close to it.
The wake up light is simply a light plugged into a timer. Place the wake up light where your twins can see it from their cribs or beds.
Tip: Choose a light that emits a dim light — so that the light won’t wake the babies when it comes on. Most often, you will want them to sleep beyond the wake up time if they are still asleep. There are very cute night lights that work well for this purpose.
Crucial to the success of the wake up light system, is the consistent application and enforcement of the sleep rules. Make a poster with your sleep rules and place it on the wall near the wake up light. You can include a simple drawing of a child in bed with their eyes closed.
SLEEP RULES
If wake up light is off:
1. Lay Down 2. Close Eyes 3. Be Still 4. Be Quiet
When you first introduce the light and the sleep rules, do it at a time OTHER than bed time or nap time. You can read and point to each word, you can point to the drawing of the sleeping child, or you can pantomime the actions as well as acting out the opposite of each. This is the one and only time you would ever act out the opposite of the desired actions. This is done just so they understand, and you don’t want them to make a game of doing the opposite of the sleep rules. Talk about the wake up light and point to it. Turn the light on to show what it looks like and explain, “when it comes on, you can get up!”. Then, turn the light off and review the sleep rules again.
Review the sleep rules every night at bed time.
If they violate the sleep rules, don’t get angry. Just calmly say “It’s sleep time.” and take them back to their bed and lay them down. If you need to, you can repeat the sleep rules in a monotone whisper: “the light is off: lay down, close eyes, be still, be quiet”. Do not linger, do not give kisses, etc. just lay them in bed then leave the room. Do this as many times as you need to do it — do not waver, do not get angry… just matter of fact and boring.
If there are some bad habits to be broken, it might take 3-4 days of this “matter of fact” putting them back in bed and repeating the sleep rules. After a few days they will get bored, but you might have to be prepared to repeat this action many, many times over in a night/morning during the training period. Don’t get discouraged. If you are consistent and really don’t give them any power by responding in a different way, talking with them, pleading with them, scolding them, they will get bored and will stop violating the sleep rules.
Warning: If you do not consistently enforce the sleep rules, the system will not work. You cannot be “too tired” to go enforce the rules in your monotone, boring voice. Tell yourself that the investment NOW, will pay off with better sleep for everyone (the babies and you) in just a few short (although it may seem long!) days.
To help your twins feel successful in the beginning, you can set the light to come on earlier than your ultimate desired wake up time — early enough that you KNOW they will still be asleep. That way, when they wake up, the light will be on and they can start their day right away. The first few days you can plan to get up early and be ready to greet them with “The light is on, Hooray! Good job!”. You can then move the wake up time gradually back to the actual time you want them to wake up. Depending how far you need to move their wake up time, you’ll want to go in 5-15 minute increments and leave it at each setting for 2-3 days.
Tip: Do not ever let the babies get up while the wake up light is off. Be sure to purchase a timer that has an on/off toggle switch — so that you can click the light on quickly if you need to. This should not be used often, as they will learn that the wake up light can be manipulated. Outlet timers are available at most hardware stores.
Be very animated about all successes (especially in the first several months). Anytime they get up after the wake up light has come on, make a big deal out of it. “Good Job! Look! The Light is on! Time to get up! Good Morning!”. Anytime they get up when the light is not on, be very monotone and boring, “Look. The light is not on. Sleep Time.”
What age is appropriate to start using the wake-up light?
Babies as young as 7 – 8 months can use a wake up light. The nice thing about starting at a very young age is that the wake up light quickly becomes a natural part of their life — almost like the sun rising. A young baby can sometimes take longer to get the hang of the light — but when you are consistent and continue to direct their attention to the light, they will eventually get it.
Tip: If the sunrise brings light into your babies’ room in the morning earlier than you would like them to wake up, you might wish to purchase black out shades to keep the room dark until your desired wake up time.
Of course, it is always important to assess the reason for any violations of the sleep rules. If there is a need that must be taken care of, do so as quickly and quietly as possible. Do not talk unless critically needed. As the adult, it is up to you to judge if a violation of the rules is reasonable under the circumstances. If it is not reasonable, do not argue, discuss, or explain — just revert back to the monotone, “The light is not on. Sleep Time.” If they are old enough for discussion, there will be time during daylight hours to discuss why the violation was not okay.
Toddlers do very well with a wake up light system, but older children can still benefit from it as well. Sometimes, especially in the winter, it is hard to tell if it is time to get up in the morning because it might still be dark at the “normal” wake up time for your child. The wake up light can help a child who wakes in the night wondering if it is time to get up. If the light is off, it is still sleep time.
Hopefully this introduction to the wake up light system has given you a good overview. The wake up light system solves many different kinds of sleep and bedtime issues, and we’ll get into specific scenarios in future articles. In the next article in this series, we’ll talk about how the wake up light can help with children that think that bedtime means playtime.
Read More on sleep and TwinParenthood’s Wake Up Light System:
Learning that you are expecting twins is both exciting, and a little frightening. Most parents expecting twins really have no idea what to expect. From the pregnancy onward, you’re in for some big changes.
So, here is the “critical, need-to-know information” about your twin pregnancy:
FACT 1:
Because twin pregnancies are classified as “high risk”, you will receive more ultrasounds and tests than an average singleton pregnancy to ensure the babies (and mom) are staying healthy.
higher rate of miscarriage
higher rate of maternal anemia
higher rate of postpartum hemorrhage (bleeding) after delivery
higher risk of developing gestational diabetes
higher risk of preeclampsia (high blood pressure, protein in the urine, and sometimes swelling in feet, legs, and hands)
higher risk of preterm labor and delivery
Advice:
Seek out an Obstetrician that specializes in high risk pregnancies, or see a perinatologist.
Visit your Obstetrician early in your pregnancy, be diligent about keeping all dr visits.
FACT 2:
Your twin pregnancy may leave you with more of the discomforts associated with pregnancy.
– morning sickness may be stronger in the 1st trimester
– back aches, heartburn, and sleepless nights might be worse and begin earlier than in singleton pregnancies
– more spotting can occur
– Moms pregnant with twins should expect to gain between 35 – 50 pounds
Advice:
Get regular exercise, but don’t overdo it — especially later in the pregnancy.
Do not underestimate the need for extra rest and sleep.
Get a body pillow to use between your knees for more support.
Be sure to eat enough to nourish the babies — there will be time to take off the weight later.
A small amount of spotting early in the pregnancy without cramping can be normal, but you should still inform your doctor. If spotting with cramping or heavier bleeding or clots happens — seek immediate medical advice.
FACT 3:
Your pregnancy will require “more” of your body’s resources.
And, you’ll need to eat more, too. You’ll need to eat an additional 500 – 1000 calories per day. And protein is critical, you’ll need an additional 35-50 grams beginning around week 20. In total, you’ll need about 150 – 170 grams.
You definitely will need a good prenatal vitamin with iron. Some vitamins/minerals/supplements will require a higher dosage — including folic acid. Talk to your doctor about the proper vitamins and dosage for you.
The babies will draw calcium out of your bones & teeth if you are not taking enough in to support the twin pregnancy.
Advice:
Be sure to ask your doctor about the need for vitamins and supplements.
Make a note on your daily calendar when you have taken your vitamins, so that you will not forget.
Drink more milk, and eat yogurt, peanut butter, and fish. These provide more protein, and the milk & yogurt add much needed calcium. Do be careful, though, about the types of seafood you eat, as you’ll want to avoid those species that have been found to be high in mercury. Learn more about the FDA and EPA’s recommendations for pregnant women: http://www.epa.gov/fishadvisories/advice/
Eat small meals, but much more often. You might find that you are not hungry — either due to morning sickness, heartburn, or just feeling full because of the babies pressing on your stomach. But, getting enough calories to support the babies is crucial. Eating protein rich foods is helpful.
FACT 4:
Chances are greater than not that you will be put on bed rest at some time during your pregnancy. And, labor/delivery are more likely to come early.
Most moms of twins go into labor at 36 to 37 weeks (40 is the norm for singletons).
Bed rest comes in various degrees. It can range from a modified bed rest (where the doctor simply instructs you to get off your feet whenever possible), to strict at home bed rest where you can only get up to use the toilet, to hospital bed rest.
Advice:
Have all your baby preparations completed no later than the 30th week of pregnancy (nursery set up, etc.). Even if you are not placed on bed rest, you will likely be too tired to complete preparations much later than 30 weeks.
Discuss with your doctor his/her thoughts about working during your pregnancy and if or when you should stop.
Drink a lot of water. Then drink some more. More water is needed to support the increase in volume of blood. Dehydration is one cause of preterm labor.
There is a higher rate of babies in the breech position.
There is more incidence of “failure to progress” during labor, as the uterus muscles are often too stretched out to muster a coordinated effort.
Advice:
Think about your wishes for your birth plan before you are admitted to the hospital, but plan to be flexible. Don’t go into it saying, “I’ll be so upset if I have to have a C-section.”
FACT 6:
People (even strangers) are more likely to ask you personal, probing questions about your pregnancy. People are just very interested in multiples.
Advice:
Join a Twins or Multiples Support Group or “Club”. No one can relate to a mom pregnant with twins better than a mom who has “been there, done that”. Also, you’ll be needing to get a lot of “stuff”, but most of it doesn’t need to be new. These groups often have huge sales where you can stock up. Still unsure? Check out TwinParenthood.com’s article, “Top Ten Reasons to Join a Twins / Multiples Support Group or Club
Try to keep in mind that people are just interested in multiples, decide how much you want to reveal, and always answer with a smile. To see the humorous side of this, read our article, “Out and About with Twins — when does the carnival end?“.
A twins or higher order multiples pregnancy can be a challenge. But, by seeking advice early, and following the doctor’s instructions, you can ensure the healthiest outcome possible. There is much you can do to prepare for the coming changes in your life. Research at TwinParenthood.com is a great start.
Today, TwinParenthood.com is very excited to announce a new service available to new parents of twins and those expecting twins. Starting today, parents expecting twins, or those with twin infants (or as we like to call them, “twinfants”), can submit up to five questions to TwinParenthood.com, and receive a personalized answer. This new service is free for a limited time.
Your questions can be about anything twin related.
Equipment to buy
Nursery set up
Bringing twins home
Sibling Issues
Pregnancy Questions
Managing the Nights (or the days!)
You name it
To submit your questions, please visit our Expecting Twins page. Hope to hear from you soon!
