Happy New Year! As the year draws to a close, it is important for Twin Families to reflect on the past year and set goals for the upcoming year. Use our list to inspire your own family questions, or print it out and cut into pieces to put into a hat for each family member to draw out and answer aloud. Or, maybe you want to just think about it over the upcoming days. However you choose to reflect this New Year’s Holiday, just do it.
What is the single BEST thing that happened in the past year?
What is the most Challenging thing that happened in the past year?
What is your biggest Learn from the past year?
What Milestones were achieved?
What is the Kindest thing you did in the past year?
How can you positively impact someone’s life this upcoming year?
What is the One Thing you can change that will make a BIG change in your attitude?
What will you do this year, this is for *you*?
What are 3 traits that you cherish, about each member of your family?
How can you ensure you will spend quality time with each family member this year?
Hopefully this list inspires you to reflect and discuss among your family this New Year. What are some questions you reflect upon at this time?
Whether you are buying gifts for twins or super-twins (triplets, or higher order multiples) or buying gifts to be given from twins to someone else, questions abound about twins and gifting. Parents of twins pretty quickly determine their own twin gifting philosophy, and it is often times those that are not in the immediate family that struggle with what to do. Those outside the family should not be shy about asking the parents for advice to understand the family’s general twin gifting philosophy.
Gifts for twins
Many questions arise when buying gifts for twins.
How can we make sure it is fair?
How can we make sure they don’t fight over the gifts?
My child is friends with only one of the twins, are we expected to give gifts to both children?
Same / Same
Probably the easiest (and most common) philosophy when buying gifts for twins is to simply buy the exact same gift for each twin. This philosophy minimizes the fighting over the object as well as minimizing the comparison in value between different gifts. On the downside, buying 2 (or more) of the same thing sometimes feels wasteful. Gift givers often find themselves asking, “if we bought different gifts and they shared, they would get twice as many things.”
A variation on this philosophy is to buy two of the same thing in a slightly different pattern, color, or style. Twin parents often associate a specific color with each twin when they are young, and not surprisingly, these colors often evolve into the child’s favorite color as they get a little bit older.
Equal Value
Many twin parents feel very strongly that, as individuals, twins should be given individual gifts. This philosophy supports the individualism of twins and holds that each child should be treated separately — as they would be if they were born on different days.
Often the gift givers strive to ensure the gifts are of the same perceived value. This can provide more variety, and, if the twins are good at sharing, can double the number of unique gifts received by the twins. The critical point here is that “same perceived value” part. As can be expected, different gifts, even when the exact same dollar amount in purchase, can sometimes be perceived to be of different value by the receivers.
One Big Gift to Share
The third philosophy is to buy one larger gift that the children will share. This allows the buyer to pool the money they would have spent on individual gifts to buy a gift that might have been out of their price range had then been buying separate gifts. This method works really well for kids that share really well.
A Gift for just One
A very common question among those invited to a twins party is asked when the child invited is friends with just one of the twins. Is that child expected to buy a gift for both twins? Again, there is no “right” answer. But many parents of twins will say, “no”. You are not expected to buy a gift for both twins, when your child is a friend of only one of the twins. Understandably, it gets a bit stickier when your child is a good friend of one of the twins and more of a casual friend with the other. Each family will have to decide how they want to handle this. Just remember, there isn’t a “right” answer or expected norm. So, whatever you decide to do, you won’t be breaking the unwritten “twin code”.
Gifts from Twins
If you are a parent of twins (triplets, or more), and are buying gifts to be given from your twins to another child, many of the same questions exist, but in reverse. Should I buy one large give from both of my twins? or smaller individual gifts from each twin? Again, parents tend to choose the philosophy with which they are most comfortable. Interestingly, many parents feel very strongly about their particular philosophy, although clearly this is a matter of opinion and we hope by laying out the options we can help you weigh the considerations to make the decision that is right for you and your family.
Two Individual Gifts
Supporting the individualism of the twins, often twin parents feel it is important for their twins to each give their own gift. Another aspect of this philosophy holds that every other child invited to the party will be bringing their own gifts, and it should be no different for twins.
One Big Gift
Twin parents sometimes enjoy pooling the money they would have spent on buying individual gifts for each of their twins to give, into a more expensive item than they would have otherwise been able to afford to give. Along with this method, parents sometimes will have their twins each pick out small accessory items to go with the main item — so that they can feel more connected to the gift.
In addition to questions about how many gifts — there are many questions around invitations to parties for twins, and from twins. But that is a subject for another day.
Hopefully you weren’t expecting us to tell you the right thing to do — you’ll have to make up your own mind about that. In all the years of fielding questions from parents of twins and from those without twins, we have heard many opinions — and there doesn’t really seem to be an overall consensus about what is the “right” way to do it. You’re on your own on that one.
So… please leave us a comment to let us know your philosophy about gift giving and twins. What is your “right” way?
A mom, dad, and a Utah State Trooper were surprised earlier this week by twins that didn’t quite make it to the hospital and were instead born on the side of the road.
It’s nearly every parent’s fear that they’ll deliver on the side of the road — and as with many thing “multiple”, when you’re having twins, triplets, (or even more) — that fear can be multiplied.
Utah Highway Patrol sergeant Cade Brenchley is a father of four and called on his own experience in the delivery room as well as training he received as part of his job. When Seargeant Brenchley arrived, one baby had already been delivered — but he was just in time to help with baby #2.
“The mother was a real trooper — for lack of a better word — for holding on to this baby and then getting ready to have the second one,” Brenchley said.
After delivery of the second twin, Brenchley says, “Good job, mom.”
While most Parents of Twins report to TwinParenthood that it is important to them to know if their twins are identical or fraternal, the reality is that many are misinformed during prenatal scans, according to UCL researchers in a commentary piece in BJOG[1] (a journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology).
Out of the 1302 families with same sex twins in the cited study who stated they had been given the information by health professionals based on the formation of the placenta as seen on the prenatal scan, 191 (14.7%) were misinformed about their zygosity.
It seems that correctly identifying if twins are identical or fraternal is trickier than some health professionals may realize.
It may be that some health care professionals actually perpetuate the common mistaken belief that all twins sharing a placenta are identical, and that twins with two placentas must be non-identical. But in fact, 25-30% of identical twins can have two placentas, according to the researchers. Separate placentas can develop in monozygotic twins when the egg splits within 2 days of fertilization.
Parents may have originally been told that their twins are non-identical (or fraternal) because of the formation of two placentas. But, if your same sex twins share eye and hair color, and are often mixed up by those around them, your twins may actually be identical. Twin Zygosity Testing (or Twin DNA Testing) might be your best option to determine if your twins are identical or fraternal.
Zygosity is the genetic relationship between two twins. With respect to genetic similarities or dissimilarities, twins are classified as identical or fraternal.
Monozygotic = 1 egg – identical twins (when one egg is fertilized by a single sperm cell and then splits).
Dizygotic = 2 eggs – fraternal or non-identical (when two eggs are independently fertilized by two sperm cells).
[1] van Jaarsveld C, Llewellyn C, Fildes A, Fisher A, Wardle J. Are my twins identical: parents may be misinformed by prenatal scan observations. BJOG 2012;119:517–518
Zygosity Test Giveaway
Our friends at Proactive Genetics have graciously offered a Zygosity test to one randomly selected TwinParenthood reader.
05/21/2012 UPDATE: Giveaway entry is now Closed. Thanks to all who entered! Our winner is Reagan K of Arcata, CA — Congratulations, Reagan!
Proactive Genetics offers a great service to parents of twins – for a fantastic price. The genetic testing is easy – gentle swabbing to remove cheek (buccal) cells – which contain adequate DNA to perform the zygosity test. And then mail it in. Easy-Peasy. Have questions about twin zygosity or zygosity testing? Check out thier informative Frequently Asked Questions About Twin Zygosity page.
Basic (required) entry: Please visit Proactive Genetics and find the first word on their website that begins with the same letter as your first name. Then, come back and post a comment here with the word, your first name, and tell us if you were told that your twins are identical or non-identical. Do you suspect that you might have been mis-informed?
Additional Entries:
Post a comment here for EACH entry.
Basic Entry (above) is required before any extra entries will be counted.
Tweet: Identical or Fraternal? 1 in 7 misinformed: http://bit.ly/JXPrWL @TwinParenthood DNA Test #Giveaway (ends 5/16) #tph #multiples #twintuesday
Publicy share our Facebook giveaway announcement to your own timeline (share must be visible to “public”).
Post a comment on one of our Facebook giveaway announcements.
5/14/2012 Update! We’re adding a new way to earn an extra entry: Post a photo of your twins on our Facebook wall and tell us (with the photo) if you were told they are identical or fraternal. (Please be sure to come back and post a comment here to earn your extra entry!)
As usual, the standard TwinParenthood giveaway rules apply — read them all here. Giveaway is open to US and Canada. Contest Entry closes 11:59:59 pm on May 16, 2012.
05/21/2012 UPDATE: Giveaway entry is now Closed. Thanks to all who entered! Our winner is Reagan K of Arcata, CA — Congratulations, Reagan!
It’s Official. We’re running a Spring/Easter Photo Sharing Contest at TwinParenthood!
It’s time to sweep out those cobwebs, and put a fresh coat of paint on something. For us, that meant a new cover photo for our Facebook page — featuring Spring and Easter photos of twins shared on our wall by friends and members of our community.
Would you like your twinkies featured in our cover photo? Now’s your chance! In fact… by sharing a spring or Easter photo to our Facebook wall during our contest, you will be automatically entered to *win* 2 books by Paris Morris!
Paris is now a 14-year-old girl living in the San Francisco Bay Area, and wrote the first of these two books in 2008 at the age of 10. Paris’ books are available over at the best book store for twins and multiples, Double Up Books.
I’m Having Twins
“I’m Having Twins” is an inspirational children’s book about a 3-year old girl named Paris who comes to terms with her parents adding twin siblings to their family mix. The story begins as Paris learns that she will soon have twin siblings and ends as the family leaves for the hospital to have “Her Twins.” The book takes Paris through the trials and tribulations of a twin pregnancy from the big sister’s perspective and shows her how they are really hers, too, easing her transition to Big Sisterhood. It is based upon the real-life experiences of a little girl named Paris living in the San Francisco Bay Area.
My Twins are Coming Home
In the second book in the series, Paris describes her experiences once her twin siblings are born, including their time in the hospital and their coming home. She shares her thoughts on visiting her twin sisters in the hospital and waiting several weeks for them to come home, why they came home at different times, and her thoughts about now sharing the attention of her family and friends with the new arrivals.
These wonderful books can be yours if you are the lucky randomly selected winner of our TwinParenthood 2012 Spring / Easter Photo Sharing Contest. As usual, full contest rules are available on our contest page. Winner must respond within 48 hours after notification through Facebook. Facebook is not affiliated with this contest. Spring or Easter photos of twins and/or their families posted to our Facebook wall between April 1st and April 10th, 11:59:59 PM Pacific Daylight Time, will be automatically entered. Winner’s response to our email constitutes acceptance of all contest terms.
How to Enter
Like our page, and share a Spring or Easter photo of your twins (or your family with your twins) on our Facebook Wall. (This step is required before any additional entries will be counted). Each family may post as many photos as they would like to share, but only 1 basic entry per family will be counted.
Additional Entries
For each entry, please post a separate comment below.
2. Publicly share our Facebook Contest Post on your Facebook wall. (1 entry)
3. Tweet the following (1 entry): [ Got Twins? Share a photo to win 2 Paris Morris Twins Books! http://bit.ly/HpimEq (ends 4/10) #twintuesday #tph #multiples]
4. Refer a friend to our Facebook Page (1 entry)… just ask them to say hello on our wall and tell us that you sent them for an extry entry for both you and your friend!
That’s it! Easy – Peasy!
4/21/2012 Update:
Our winner is Crystal B of Summerville, SC. Congrats, Crystal!
Starting twins on chores at a young age and managing chores effectively as they grow older can be a life saver for busy parents of twins, triplets, or higher order multiples. If you begin chores early with twins, you can reap an early payoff and long awaited easing of some of the burden of having twins.
How old should twins be when they start easy household chores?
Parents can (and should!) effectively start twins on chores as young as 12 – 18 months. Yes! Many reading that will scoff and say that just doesn’t make sense. But, in truth, starting twins (singletons, triplets, or any child) on chores at a very young age will teach them that chores are an everyday part of life. Doing chores regularly will ensure that doing chores becomes a habit — like brushing your teeth. And, at this young age they are eager to help.
Even if you have missed the early window for beginning household chores, it is never too late to introduce a nightly “5 minute attack“. Each night after dinner, set a kitchen timer for 5 minutes and everyone participates in picking up the house. Model the behavior you expect, and make it a fun game. Turn on some music, and then in a very animated way, rush around the house picking up. You can even add an occasional “Hurry! Hurry! How much can we get done?!”
But what can very young twins really do effectively? Well, the word effectively is relative. We didn’t say they would do a good job — at a very young age, you are just establishing good habits. In some cases, having them do chores actually results in more work for tired parents — but the investment is well worth it. You can invest in your children now and have real help in a few short years, or your can just do everything for them and face the music later when you are still doing everything for them into their teenage years.
The truth is, very young children can pretty much “help” with almost any chore if you carefully select out the part that they can do without danger to themselves. It is also important to get them smaller sized tools to make the task easy for little hands.
The following lists will give you some ideas of chores that can be accomplished by age. These lists are by no means exhaustive and you will, no doubt, identify many chores that should have been listed — so please do let us know in the comments. And, stay tuned for an upcoming article about chore charts, assigning chores, and rewards. For now, just get your twins started with the habit of doing chores and being a responsible member of the family.
Chores for Under Age 3
Many of these chores require help, but can be started at a very young age to begin the habit of doing chores. As they grow, you add more responsibility and independence into the chore until they are accomplishing the entire chore on their own.
- pick up toys
- dusting
- sweeping (mini broom & dust pan)
- mopping
- wiping windows (paper towel & water)
- making bed (pulling up the blankets/covers)
- taking laundry to the hamper
- sorting dirty laundry into bins by color
- matching up socks
- helping to feed the pets
- helping to cook
- raking leaves (mini rake)
By introducing chores at a young age and then progressing them through increasing responsibility, they will eventually be able to complete chores unsupervised — at a much younger age than you would expect. One example of this is the laundry. This is a chore that very young children can participate in, and over the years they learn the ins and outs of the chore. By the time they are eight to nine years old, they are capable to performing the whole chore themselves.
Preschoolers
All of the above, progressing in responsibility and independence, plus:
- Pick out clothes and get dressed
- Set the table
- Put away silverware and plastic items from Dishwasher
- Vacuum (buy a small cordless vacuum for them to use)
- Empty some wastebaskets into central garbage
- Folding some types of laundry
- Wipe the bathroom counters
- Carry in some groceries (and put away)
How can you help your child to do chores independently? Preschoolers are ready to start independently doing many chores. With each chore, try to identify ways to set up your kids for success while acting independently from you. Emptying the dishwasher, for example, can be a chore they can add and will be excited about the new responsibility. You can move their plastic cups, plates, bowls and utensils to a lower cupboard that they can reach. That way, you can tell them they are responsible for putting away their own dishes — and keeping the cupboard organized. You have now made it easy for them to be successful.
Young School Age (6 – 8 years)
All of the above, progressing in responsibility and independence, plus:
- Take out the trash
- Clean windows and mirrors
- Empty Dishwasher (after adult puts away breakable items and knives)
- Running loads of laundry (with supervision)
- Sweep the porch / deck
- Assisting with household repairs
- Pack parts of their own lunch
Protecting your children from household cleaning chemicals is important. Try purchasing children’s rubber gardening gloves for use in performing household chores that might otherwise begin to unnecessarily expose them.
Older Children (9 – 13)
All of the above, progressing in responsibility and independence, plus:
- Wash the Car
- Yard Work (mowing, raking)
- Laundry (full job, end to end)
- Bathroom full cleaning
Teenagers
All of the above, with full responsibility and independence, plus:
- Prepare meals
- Changing the oil in the car(s)
- Household repairs
Parenting twins requires a lot of effort. Starting twins on chores at a young age can begin to lessen the effort of Twin Parenthood. It might be more work in the short run, but will quickly pay off in the long run — and that makes it worth the extra effort.
What do you think? Did we miss some obvious chores that you’ve started your multiples on? Leave us a comment and let us know!
We all suspected we were seeing more twins, and now a new report released Wednesday by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (the CDC) confirms it. The CDC says that the rate of twin births in the United States continues to rise. Twin rates had been stable at about 2% of births from about 1915 through the 1970′s. But beginning in the early 80′s, the rate began to rise.
One in every 30 infants born in 2009 was a twin.
The number of twin births more than doubled from 1980 through 2009, rising from 68,339 to more than 137,000 births in each year from 2006 to 2009. In 1980, 1 in every 53 babies born in the United States was a twin, compared with 1 in every 30 births in 2009.
Twinning rates rose by more than 200 percent among women aged 40 and over.
Twin birth rates increased for women of all ages over the three decades, with the largest increases among women aged 30 and over. From 1980 to 2009, rates increased 76 percent for women aged 30–34, nearly 100 percent for women aged 35–39, and more than 200 percent for women aged 40 and over.
In 2009, 7 percent of all births to women aged 40 and over were born in a twin delivery compared with 5 percent of births to women aged 35–39, and 2 percent of births to women under age 25.
Health Implications of Twins
While twin parents everywhere rejoice in their happy but difficult circumstances, the increased rate of twin births does have implications for the health of the mother and the babies. The rise in the rate of twins, which comprise the majority of multiples (96 percent in 2009), has had an unfavorable impact on key indicators of perinatal health such as rates of preterm birth and low birthweight.
Source:
Martin JA, Hamilton BE, Osterman MJK. Three decades of twin births in the United States, 1980–2009. NCHS data brief, no 80. Hyattsville, MD: National Center for Health Statistics. 2012.
When you’re having twins, it’s always fun to speculate about them being born on separate days. And if your due date is anywhere near the last day of the year or shortly after, it can be even more fun to imagine your twins being born in separate years. And that is exactly happened this past New Year for not one, not two, not three, but for at least four US families.
Twins Ronan and Rory Rosputni were born in Buffalo, NY at 11:37 p.m. Dec 31, 2011 and 12:10 a.m. on January 1, 2012, according to the Buffalonews.com. Hundreds of miles away in Minnesota, Beckett Humenny (New Year’s Eve — 6:40 p.m.) and sister Freya (New Year’s Day 12:26 a.m.) were welcomed to the world in separate years as well, as detailed by the StarTribune.com. In South Dakota, Kylee and John Jr. Anthony were born at 11:59 p.m. Saturday, and at 12:03 a.m. Sunday as report by Azcentral.com. But not to be outdone, TBO.comreports that Leah and Jenna Bear hold the honors for first baby of 2012 and last baby of 2011 in Hillsborough County (Tampa), Florida.
At least one of the families speculated about how they would celebrate birthdays and suggested that they will have one combined birthday for their twins. That is a fantastic idea when they are very little — but when twins are born on separate days, parents should consider having separate celebrations as their twins get older. When little, combining the celebration is far easier for parents and little ones are happy to celebrate together. But as they grow older, twins often struggle to be recognized independently of their twin and celebrating a separate birthday, especially when they actually fall on separate days — or years — can go a long way to build that recognition.
The TwinParenthood family would like to congratulate all of these special twin families, and we wish them all the best for a fantastic 2012! Happy New Year!
We are so excited to announce an end of year giveaway in honor of Christmas!
Super easy to enter. Please just come to our Facebook Page, “like” us, and share your photo on our wall. That’s it!
One random winner will be selected from all Christmas, New Year’s or winter scene photos posted to our Facebook wall anytime in December — ending January 2, 2012 at 11:59:59 pm PDT. Winner to be announced within 48 hours.
What can you win you ask?
We have a STROLL-AIR DOUBLE STROLLER ORGANIZER/CONSOLE:
• attaches to most strollers on the market
• mounts horizontally and vertically
• two sets of double insulated bottle / drink holders, one with drawstring for each set
• larger compartment in the middle of each set with pockets and a key clip inside
Extra entries
Do any of the following to receive an extra entry into our contest. You must come back here and post a comment (one for each extra entry) with a link to your extra entry.
Tweet About It: Post a Christmas photo at TwinParenthood to win a Stroll-Air Double Stroller Organizer! http://bit.ly/sedn87 #tph #twintuesday #giveaway
All pregnant women should be aware of the dangers of Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome (TTTS). TTTS is a complication of disproportionate blood supply to twin fetuses during pregnancy. It is critical that all women have an early ultrasound to identify if they are having multiples.
World TTTS Awareness Day is an international mobilization effort created by The Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome Foundation to increase awareness of the #1 problem facing multiples. It is crucial for women to get an ultrasound in the first trimester to identify multiples and then to determine whether there is one placenta or two. Women must learn the warning signs of TTTS, the 15 questions to ask at each ultrasound, and the available treatment options. World TTTS Awareness Day is about empowering parents and is filled with messages of Hope, Help and Encouragement. Your babies can make it and be healthy. Don’t ever give up. Please, Get Educated, Get Ultrasounds, Ask Questions, Get Treatment and Get Involved! This day is also a remembrance day for all the babies who have had TTTS. Candles will be lit tonight across the world during the vigil and messages may also be left for your babies through lighting online candles. Please visit their websites to learn more about TTTS.
What is Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome?
Twin to twin transfusion syndrome (TTTS) is a disease of the placenta (or afterbirth) that affects identical twin pregnancies.
TTTS affects identical twins (or higher multiple gestations), who share a common monochorionic placenta.
The shared placenta contains abnormal blood vessels, which connect the umbilical cords and circulations of the twins.
The common placenta may also be shared unequally by the twins, and one twin may have a share too small to provide the necessary nutrients to grow normally or even survive.
The events in pregnancy that lead to TTTS – the timing of the twinning event, the number and type of connecting vessels, and the way the placenta is shared by the twins are all random events that have no primary prevention, is not hereditary or genetic, nor is it caused by anything the parents did or did not do. TTTS can happen to anyone.
If you are pregnant, what should you do?
Get Ultrasounds
If you are pregnant, it is critical that you get an ultrasound within the first 3 months. With this ultrasound, you can determine if you are having twins, triplets, or even higher order multiples. As early as 7 weeks of pregnancy, it can be determined if you are having multiples. If the placenta is monochorionic, or single, your pregnancy is at risk for TTTS.
Ask Questions
Once you have identified that you are having twins or higher order multiples, it is imortant that you ask questions at each ultrasound. For multiples, ultrasounds should be performed more frequently than in singleton and lower risk pregnancies. Listed below are the TTTS Foundation’s 15 Most Important Questions to ask at each ultrasound.
Confirm at initial ultrasounds (preferably by 10-16 weeks)
Is the placenta monochorionic?
Are the babies the same gender?
Can you see the dividing membrane?
Is the placenta implanted on the anterior or posterior surface of the womb?
Do the twins’ umbilical cords each have the normal 3 blood vessels, or does one of them have 2 vessels?
Are the umbilical cords fully attached to the placenta?
Questions to ask at weekly ultrasounds (16 weeks to delivery)
What is the largest vertical pocket of fluid for each baby?
Can you see the bladder of the donor baby?
What are the weights of the babies in grams? (every 2-3 weeks)
Are the dopplers normal for both babies?
Is the heart of the recipient baby enlarged or thickened?
Does the recipient baby have hydrops?
What is the measurement of your cervix, is it long and closed or thinning or dilated?
PLEASE, get an early ultrasound to determine if you are carrying multiples. If you are pregnant with twins or higher order multiples, PLEASE ask the questions provided by the TTTS Foundation. It could save your babies’ lives. If you are diagnosed with TTTS, or would like more information, please contact the TTTS Foundation for help, information, and support.
