Newborn twins require a 24 hour sleep / feed schedule

Whether you are having twins (triplets, or higher order multiples) soon, or are already in the first few weeks with your twin infants (your “twinfants”), there is one overarching reality that you cannot escape — newborn twins require round the clock care to support their sleep / feed schedule. You will feel like a feeding, burping, diaper changing machine running on minimal sleep. But, arming yourself with some basic information about newborn twins will certainly help you to cope with the reality of the first few months in your twins lives.

Reality #1: Newborn twins sleep a lot

Newborns sleep from 14 to 18 hours per day in the first week, and from 12 – 18 hours per day by one month. Granted, this sleep is broken into 2 – 3 hour chunks, but they do sleep a lot. Planning your time wisely will allow you to maximize your sleep as well. 

Caregivers need sleep, too

In these early weeks, it is tempting to want to be there for every waking.  But, in the long run, doing so may wear you out — literally.  Think about your options — are there ways that each caregiver can obtain an uninterrupted 4 hour sleep stretch?  If you are breastfeeding your twin infants, you might consider skipping 1 feed (and having another caregiver give a bottle of pumped breastmilk or formula). Or, can another caregiver do all the “extras” that need to be done with a feeding and bring the babies to mom for a ”sleep feed”?

Get creative — that single 4 hour sleep stretch can do wonders for your mental health in these early days.

Reality #2: Newborn twins are hungry often

Newborns tummies are tiny. On top of that, formula digests quickly — and breastmilk digests even faster than formula — leaving an empty tummy that needs to be filled. Newborns will wake when they need to be fed — usually every 2 – 4 hours. 

Gently begin moving your twins toward a schedule

While gently working your newborn twins towards a schedule can begin as soon as you bring them home from the hospital, attempting to force longer stretches between feedings should not be attempted for a while. Newborn twin infants should be fed whenever they show signs of hunger. Still, there are many things you can do to begin the process of moving towards a schedule.  For example, if one baby wakes to feed, you can wake the other baby and feed both babies at the same time.  

Check back with us — we’ll feature an article soon about steps you can start to gently begin moving your babies toward a schedule.

Reality #3: You cannot “spoil” a newborn.

Newborn twin infants do not have the mental capacity to cry for attention or just because they want to be held. At this early stage of life, they cry because they have a need. If your twin infants are crying, respond to them quickly — this builds confidence that they are loved and you will take care of their needs.  Check for the big 3 needs of this stage… Hunger, Burp, Wet.

Lay your twin infants down drowsy but awake

Even though you can’t “spoil” them, that doesn’t mean that you can get away with always holding and rocking your babies to sleep. While it is okay to do this sometimes, you won’t want to do it every time — as your babies will soon require holding and rocking in order to fall asleep.  Your twinfants are learning how to fall asleep.  Most of the time, you will want to lay your babies down in their cribs while they are drowsy but not fully asleep yet. If they begin to fuss, you can pick them up and repeat the steps to get them drowsy before laying them down awake in their cribs. 

While in the short run, it may seem easier to rock them to sleep and lay them down after they are fully asleep — in the not too distant future you will be so glad for making the extra effort to lay them down awake in the early days. We promise!  This can be one of the hardest things to do when you are exhausted and you just want to get the babies down as quickly as possible, so that you can return to your bed. But don’t worry, if you choose to hold, rock, and cuddle your babies to sleep, later gentle sleep training techniques can help to solve any issues that might result. 

Reality #4: Growth Spurts will knock your schedule off track.

Just when you think things are settling down to a routine and the start of some kind of schedule, everything will go off-kilter.  Your babies will experience several growth spurts that will require cluster feeding. Your best bet is to expect this to happen and to respond with more frequent feedings when they need it. Don’t get frustrated or feel that you are doing something wrong, or that there is something wrong with your babies — this is normal.

Trust your instincts

If, however, you feel that your babies are hungry all the time and show some other signs of a problem (such as not gaining weight) don’t hesitate to contact your physician. 

Reality #5: “Sleeping Like a Baby” means a lot of interruptions, noises and needs.

Whoever made up that expression “sleeping like a baby” must not have had one! It’s true that sometimes when a baby sleeps it is a very sound sleep and loud noises will not disturb them.  However, most of the time, your babies will be grunting and groaning, and even crying out — but they often continue sleeping despite these noises. The trick is to figure out when they need to be picked up and fed and when to let them resettle themselves. If you respond to every sound, you won’t get any sleep yourselves! 

Baby Monitors in good measure

While baby monitors are wonderful inventions — sometimes it makes sense to go without a monitor, or to keep the volume on your monitor low. Unless your babies are on the other side of the house, you will hear them when they cry.  Keep the monitor’s volume down so that normal sounds of sleep cannot be heard, while cries can.

Reality #6: Sleeping Through The Night (STTN) is really only a 5 hour sleep stretch.

As soon as you’ve had your babies, people will start asking you, “Are they sleeping through the night yet?” and commenting, “Things will be better as soon as they start sleeping through the night.”  What they don’t know — or don’t remember — is that babies don’t really sleep all the way through the night without waking up until many months down the road.

Your Twins First Milestone

But, somewhere after 6 weeks of age (adjusted), babies will be begin to organize their sleep.   This results in a longer stretch of uninterrupted sleep of 4 — 6 hours, usually happening in the late evening hours. For most babies, this will happen between 3 – 6 months of age.  This is it.  This is what your pediatrician means when they ask about “sleeping through the night”. 

The babies will usually still require 1 – 2 feedings during the night at this stage.  And, since there are 2 (or more) babies involved, this still makes for quite a few feedings in the night. Still, once this longer sleep stretch becomes a pattern, you can claim your STTN award. Cherish it — you’ve reached your first major milestone!

copyright 2010 – TwinParenthood / Kathryn Whiteley

When did your twins sleep through the night?

Sleeping through the night with twins — the ultimate goal, the ultimate bliss for sleep deprived parents. Getting a singleton to sleep through the night is a major goal for new parents, but add a second baby into the mix and sleeping through the night becomes not only a goal, but a necessity.

There are many things you can do to move your twins in the direction of sleeping through the night — but before we go there, let us make sure we’re all on the same page. Let us define “sleeping through the night”. According to Marc Weissbluth, M.D., author of the bestselling classic “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child” and his latest, “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Twins”, a more helpful term and thing to aim for is “organized night sleep“. He says, “When your twins have a long block of uninterrupted sleep lasting four to six hours, usually occurring before midnight, you can make this claim.” He goes further to say that you still might be feeding them once or twice during the night at this point.

According to Weissbluth, this milestone typically starts to happen at about or just past six weeks (counting from the due date). For sleep deprived parents of new twins, the news that babies still might being fed once or twice during the night might be slightly depressing news. Unless you are intentionally feeding your twinfants at the same time, this could mean 4 wakings in the night at the point in which your twins are technically, according to Weissbluth, “sleeping through the night”!

Gently encouraging your twins to sleep through the night can begin at a very young age.  But, often times, as parents of twins we are just so tired that we miss the golden opportunities when they are infants and may have to deal with some course corrections when they are a bit older.  For babies that are older than six months and still not sleeping through the night, you might explore the “Wake Up Light System” to help your babies learn when it is okay to wake up and when they should be sleeping.

So today, we have a special #tph Question of the Day, “When did your twins begin sleeping through the night? How long was the longest sleep streach at that point? And… do you have any tips to share with other parents to help move twins in that direction?”

Giveaway – “Happy Sleep Habits, Happy Twins”

By answering our question today, you will be entered to receive a copy of Dr. Weissbluth’s extremely helpful book, “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Twins – A Step-by-Step Program for Sleep-Training Your Multiples“.  Please be sure to leave a comment with your email address for eligibility.

You may leave a comment either here (below) or on our Question of the Day in our membership community. If you do both, you will receive 2 entries to win!

Giveaway is open to residents of US and Canada only (sorry folks!). Full giveaway rules are available on our Rules page.  Contest ends 11:59:59 pm, October 12, 2010 PST.

Winner!

Our contest winner is Erin Thomson.  Congratulations, Erin!  Hope you make good use of Dr. Weissbluth’s book. Dr. Weissbluth is extremely wise in these matters!  

Best~

The age at which twins, triplets or more begin to notice each other and interact varies widely.  A lot depends on how closely you keep your twins in proximity to each other.  Do they share the same crib? Do you place them side by side on the floor for tummy time? or under an arch for overhead play time? These factors all can influence their interactions.

Some twins are aware of their twin from day one. Parents of multiples have reported their twins crying more when separated from their sibling.

Hospitals in Europe have long practiced co-bedding of multiples because of the reported benefits for the infants, which include improved weight gain and growth as well as a reduction in physiological stress.  Hospitals in the United States have begun to follow suit. However, hospitals in both countries are rethinking their policies.  

More recent reports indicate that co-bedding can increase the chances of SIDS, although some sources attribute the higher incidence of SIDS among multiples to be primarily related to low birth weight and not necessarily co-sleeping.   A commentary published in the journal “Pediatrics” on November 30, 2007 titled, “Cobedding Twins and Higher-Order Multiples in a Hospital Setting” concludes:

“Although cobedding multiples has become more widely practiced in hospitals in the United States, neither the safety nor the benefit of this practice has been documented in the published literature. Parents should be encouraged to follow established safe-sleep practices for infants at home.”

Even if you decide against co-bedding your twins, you can encourage their interactions by keeping the cribs close to each other in the bedroom. During activity time, you can encourage interactions by placing your twins together on the floor, side-by-side in the stroller, and holding them face to face with another adult.

No matter what age your twins begin responding to each other, it will happen sooner or later. It would be pretty tough to grow up as a twin without forming a strong twin relationship that involves playing, fighting, and emotional support.  As parents of twins, we long for the day when we see the twin bond developing — and some of us must be more patient than others.

Copyright 2010 Kathryn Whiteley — TwinParenthood.com

Many new parents having twins, triplets or more wonder and worry if they should hire someone to help care for their twins in the first several weeks or months. Based on my own experience and the results of several surveys conducted by TwinParenthood.com, the resounding answer is YES.

• Yes! If you can easily afford to hire help for the first several weeks, you will not regret doing so
• Yes! If you can’t easily afford to hire help, but can scrape together money to hire help, you will not regret doing so

Still, many twin parents will tell you that hiring someone to help you with your twin infants’ care is not strictly necessary — especially if you have volunteer help.

Volunteer help can come in many forms. It may be family that come to stay with you, or it may be a church or neighborhood community that rallies to your aid. Our previous article, Twin Baby Shower Gifts that Provide Real Help for Mom, gives some great advice about how to incorporate volunteer signups into your twin baby shower. 

But, not everyone has a support network to step in. So, hiring help makes sense. Once you have decided to hire help, the next question quickly arises. 

Should we hire help to care for our twins during the day or night?

Day:  Typically you’ll get more for your dollar during the day if you hire someone for daytime help with your twins because you can hire someone that is willing to do more than strictly baby care (fix lunch, do dishes or wash bottles, for example).  And, daytime help is typically less expensive than night help.

Night:  Getting at least one 4 hour uninterrupted sleep stretch can make a huge difference in your physical and mental well being. If you don’t have at least 3 caregivers in your rotation, you will have difficulty being able to achieve at least one 4 hour stretch of uninterrupted sleep. If you are not able to schedule this in without paid assistance, then you should hire night help.   

What type of help should we hire?

The type of help you will need depends a lot upon your particular situation, your financial reserves, and how much volunteer help you will be receiving. If money is unlimited, you can hire several types of help to cover all the bases: a post-partum doula for right after the babies are born, a night-nanny for the first 3 – 4 months, a day time nanny and a housekeeper.  Unfortunately, the reality is that most of us can’t afford all of that.

Regardless of what type of help you decide on, you should interview your candidates to ensure they have experience with newborns. Experience with twins is nice, but not strictly necessary.

Doula:  A post-partum doula has special expertise with newborns and mother care.  A doula is usually more expensive than other types of care. Doulas are often available for over-night care.

Nanny: A nanny may live in or out, but typically a nanny works only for you – in your home. A nanny is usually considered an employee of the household (and thus, you will usually need to pay vacation and holidays, and consider the tax implications). Nannies responsibilities often include additional tasks such as laundry, dishes, and other light housework. Be sure this is discussed prior to hiring your twins’ nanny.

Night-Nanny: A night nanny is a nanny that works at night.  Often they try to rest when the babies are sleeping, but may do some household tasks such as emptying the dishwasher or folding laundry – again, be sure to negotiate this prior to hiring.

Au Pair: An au pair is a foreign national on a work visa for a 1 year term. They live in your home and are paid a small salary, room & board, and travel & insurance expenses. Typically, they are required to take some kind of coursework (which you will need to make accommodations for in their schedule). Keep in mind that an Au Pair is not a 24 hour caregiver although they live in your home.

Daycare Providers: This is usually in someone else’s home or facility and your babies will not be the only ones receiving care. Daycare providers must be licensed.

Baby Sitter: Not always, but often a baby sitter is used on an irregular, as needed basis. Baby sitters also do not usually perform extra tasks such as light housework.  The term “baby sitter” is often used as an over-arching word to describe anyone who provides child care.

Mother’s Helper: Typically the least expensive of all options. A mother’s helper can be a high school student that comes over after school to help with housework and baby care. Usually a mother’s helper does not take on full responsibility for caring for the babies – but assists with mother present.

Housekeeper: One option not often considered is to hire a housekeeper who will take care of the house, the dishes, the bottles, the pump, cleaning the bathrooms – all of the things that you will not have the energy to do.  It is easy to become resentful of your twins’ caregiver who is spending sweet cuddle time with your babies while you are off doing household chores.  Wouldn’t you rather pay someone to do the things you don’t want to do, while you dedicate your time to your twinfants?

All of the options available for the early weeks of care with your twinfants often seem overwhelming. But, don’t be tempted to put it off, to “wait and see” what you’ll need. To be on the safe side, you’ll want to plan, interview, and hire your caregiver before reaching your 35th week. If you are very unsure and expense is an issue, start with hiring a part-time housekeeper or mother’s helper.

Bottom line, you will not regret having the help. 

What did you do in the early weeks or months?

Copyright 2010 Kathryn Whiteley — TwinParenthood.com

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Bedtime challenges exist for many families, but when you add twins, triplets, or more into the equation, things can get out of hand rather quickly. Many children begin to resist bedtime as they move into the toddler years. With twins sharing a bedroom, Twin Escalation Syndrome (TES) begins to play a role. Twin Escalation Syndrome is the tendency for twins to feed upon each other’s behaviors, and to escalate the behaviors in reaction to each other. At bedtime, this often results in extended talking, or turns “bedtime” into “playtime”.

The Wake Up Light System solves sleep problems

The “Wake Up Light” (or “Morning Light”) is a light that comes on when it is time to get up in the morning. You hook up a night-light on a timer. When it is sleep time, the light is OFF… when it is okay to get up, the light comes on. Please read TwinParenthood.com’s article on the basics of the Wake Up Light System to get an understanding of this useful sleep tool and how to use Sleep Rules with the light and timer.  In this article, Part 2 of our series on the “Wake Up Light System, we’ll discuss how to use the light and timer to promote good sleep behaviors at bedtime.

Dealing with Playtime at Bedtime

Set the timer so that the light is on for 5-10 minutes at bedtime after you leave the room.  Tell your twins they can talk/sing/read/use the bathroom during that time, but when the light goes out… they must lay down, close their eyes, be still and be quiet.  As noted in part one of our Wake Up System articles, it is important to review these Sleep Rules every night at bedtime.

If they violate the sleep rules, don’t get angry. Just calmly say “It’s sleep time.” and take them back to their bed and lay them down. If you need to, you can repeat the sleep rules in a monotone whisper: “the light is off: lay down, close eyes, be still, be quiet”. Do not linger, do not give kisses, etc. just lay them in bed then leave the room. Do this as many times as you need to do it — do not waver, do not get angry… just matter of fact and boring.

If you have some bad habits to break, it might take 3-4 days of this “matter of fact” putting them back in bed and repeating the sleep rules. After a few days they will get bored, but you might have to repeat this action many, many times during the training period. Don’t get discouraged. If you are consistent and really don’t give them any power by responding in a different way, talking with them, pleading with them, or scolding them, they will get bored and will stop violating the sleep rules.

The Wake Up Light System has been a blessing in our household, and as I’ve shared the system with other families of multiples, I’ve heard nothing but positive feedback.  Give the system a try and see how it works in your house!

Copyright 2010 Kathryn Whiteley — TwinParenthood.com

Related Articles:

• More than Double Trouble: Twin Escalation Syndrom and Twin Behavior
• The “Wake Up Light System” helps to solve many sleep issues
• How to prevent twins from calling you in the night

It seems that sleep issues plague all parents at some time or another.

But for parents of twins, triplets, or higher order multiples, it seems like issues with sleep are magnified because every sleeping moment is so precious.  While there is no “magic bullet” to solve all sleep problems, the wake up light system (or “morning light” system) comes pretty darn close to it.

The wake up light is simply a light plugged into a timer. Place the wake up light where your twins can see it from their cribs or beds.

Crucial to the success of the wake up light system, is the consistent application and enforcement of the sleep rules. Make a poster with your sleep rules and place it on the wall near the wake up light. You can include a simple drawing of a child in bed with their eyes closed.

When you first introduce the light and the sleep rules, do it at a time OTHER than bed time or nap time. You can read and point to each word, you can point to the drawing of the sleeping child, or you can pantomime the actions as well as acting out the opposite of each. This is the one and only time you would ever act out the opposite of the desired actions.  This is done just so they understand, and you don’t want them to make a game of doing the opposite of the sleep rules. Talk about the wake up light and point to it.  Turn the light on to show what it looks like and explain, “when it comes on, you can get up!”.  Then, turn the light off and review the sleep rules again.

Review the sleep rules every night at bed time.

If they violate the sleep rules, don’t get angry. Just calmly say “It’s sleep time.” and take them back to their bed and lay them down. If you need to, you can repeat the sleep rules in a monotone whisper: “the light is off: lay down, close eyes, be still, be quiet”. Do not linger, do not give kisses, etc. just lay them in bed then leave the room. Do this as many times as you need to do it — do not waver, do not get angry… just matter of fact and boring.

If there are some bad habits to be broken, it might take 3-4 days of this “matter of fact” putting them back in bed and repeating the sleep rules. After a few days they will get bored, but you might have to be prepared to repeat this action many, many times over in a night/morning during the training period. Don’t get discouraged. If you are consistent and really don’t give them any power by responding in a different way, talking with them, pleading with them, scolding them, they will get bored and will stop violating the sleep rules.

To help your twins feel successful in the beginning, you can set the light to come on earlier than your ultimate desired wake up time — early enough that you KNOW they will still be asleep. That way, when they wake up, the light will be on and they can start their day right away. The first few days you can plan to get up early and be ready to greet them with “The light is on, Hooray! Good job!”. You can then move the wake up time gradually back to the actual time you want them to wake up. Depending how far you need to move their wake up time, you’ll want to go in 5-15 minute increments and leave it at each setting for 2-3 days.

Be very animated about all successes (especially in the first several months). Anytime they get up after the wake up light has come on, make a big deal out of it.  “Good Job! Look! The Light is on!  Time to get up! Good Morning!”.  Anytime they get up when the light is not on, be very monotone and boring, “Look. The light is not on. Sleep Time.” 

What age is appropriate to start using the wake-up light?

Babies as young as 7 – 8 months can use a wake up light. The nice thing about starting at a very young age is that the wake up light quickly becomes a natural part of their life — almost like the sun rising.  A young baby can sometimes take longer to get the hang of the light — but when you are consistent and continue to direct their attention to the light, they will eventually get it.

Of course, it is always important to assess the reason for any violations of the sleep rules. If there is a need that must be taken care of, do so as quickly and quietly as possible. Do not talk unless critically needed.  As the adult, it is up to you to judge if a violation of the rules is reasonable under the circumstances.  If it is not reasonable, do not argue, discuss, or explain — just revert back to the monotone,  “The light is not on. Sleep Time.”   If they are old enough for discussion, there will be time during daylight hours to discuss why the violation was not okay.

Toddlers do very well with a wake up light system, but older children can still benefit from it as well.  Sometimes, especially in the winter, it is hard to tell if it is time to get up in the morning because it might still be dark at the “normal” wake up time for your child.  The wake up light can help a child who wakes in the night wondering if it is time to get up.  If the light is off, it is still sleep time.

Hopefully this introduction to the wake up light system has given you a good overview. The wake up light system solves many different kinds of sleep and bedtime issues, and we’ll get into specific scenarios in future articles.  In the next article in this series, we’ll talk about how the wake up light can help with children that think that bedtime means playtime.

Read More on sleep and TwinParenthood’s Wake Up Light System:

• When bedtime means playtime – The Wake Up Light System to the Rescue!
• How to prevent twins from calling for you in the night
• When did your twins sleep through the night?
• How to survive daylight savings time changes with twins

Copyright 2010 Kathryn Whiteley — TwinParenthood.com

Getting kids to bed on time can be a challenge. My kids have always been very early risers no matter what time they went to bed. So, we quickly learned that an earlier bedtime meant a little respite for us. If you have twins, triplets, or more, getting kids to bed on time can be even more of a challenge because of “twin escalation syndrome” — that is, misbehavior tends to escalate exponentially.  So, here are my top 5 tricks to make it happen more often than not (bedtime on time, that is!).

Top 5 tricks for getting kids to bed on time

Start early.  Our bedtime routine starts a full hour before we intend to have our kids actually in bed.

Schedule. Our bedtime routine is the same every night. We honor our schedule. We rarely plan evening events that will disrupt it.

Read. We read at least 20 minutes to our kids every night. It helps with developing literacy and has a calming effect. We snuggle up on the couch with a blanket, read, and talk about our books.

Reward. Be sure to take the time to tell them they are doing a great job. Pick out something they are doing well and tell them.  “I like how you…”

Ritual. Build in rituals that you perform consistently every night.  For us, it is tucking in the stuffies a certain way, and saying the same words as we leave their room, “Good Night, Sleep Tight, See you in the Morning Light”.

I have to give a special thanks to Twittermoms and www.dramau.net. Because of illness (mine and my kids), I’ve really been off my blogging routine. They inspired me to get back on my routine.  Just a quick little post to break the ice… and now I feel invigorated to begin anew. Thanks, guys!